In Paraguay, we are told, the women are generally endowed with stronger passions than the men, and are allowed to make the proposals.[86] So also among the Ahitas of the Philippine Islands, where, if her clan-parents will not consent to a love match the girl seizes the young man by the hair, carries him off, and declares she has run away with him. In such a case it appears the marriage is held to be valid whether the parents consent or not.[87] A similar custom of a gentler character, is practised by the Tarrahumari Indians of Northern Mexico, among whom, according to Lumboltz, the maiden is a persistent wooer employing a _répertoire_ of really exquisite love songs to soften the heart of a reluctant swain.[88] Again, in New Guinea, where the women held a very independent position, “the girl is always regarded as the seducer. Women steal men.” A youth who proposed to a girl would be making himself ridiculous, would be called a woman, and laughed at by the girls. The usual method by which a girl proposes is to send a present to the youth by a third party, following this up by repeated gifts of food; the young man sometimes waits a month or two, receiving presents all the time, in order to assure himself of the girl’s constancy, before decisively accepting her advances.[89] [86] Moore, _Marriage Customs: Modes of Courtship_, etc., p. 261. Rengger, _Naturgeschichte der Säugelliere von Paraguay_, p. 11, cited by Westermarck, _op. cit._, p. 158. [87] J. M. Wheeler, “Primitive Marriage,” an article in _Progress_, 1885, p. 128. [88] McGee, “The Beginning of Marriage,” _American Anthropologist_, Vol. IX. [89] Haddon, “Western Tribes of the Torres States,” _Journal of the Anthropological Society_, Vol. XIX, Feb. 1890. Cited by Havelock Ellis, _Psychology of Sex_, Vol. III, p. 185. It is clear that these cases, which I have chosen from a number of similar courtship customs, differ very much from what is our idea of the customary rôle of the girl and her lover. To me they are very instructive. They show the error of the long-held belief in the passivity of the female as a natural law of the sex.[90] Such openness of conduct in courtship is impossible except where women hold an entirely independent position. Here, then, is another advantage that may be claimed as arising for women out of the maternal system. I claim this: the woman’s right of selection in love--yes, her greatest right, one that is necessary for a freer and more beautiful mating. [90] For further examination of this question of the supposed passivity of the woman in courtship, see _The Truth about Woman_, pp. 65-69, 251-257. Terminating this short digression, I return to my examination of the peoples among whom the family is especially maternal.