_The Daily Mail_ once published an article entitled “Learning Languages by Telephone,” which laid the newspaper open to _Punch's_ obvious retort that “telephone girls, we understand, have learnt quite a lot of language that way.” An employer and his office boy were having a conversation over the telephone, in the course of which the employer found it necessary to remonstrate with his employé and to express somewhat forcibly his opinion of the latter's actions or behaviour. At the conclusion of his master's remarks the boy inquired: “Are you done? Are you quite sure you are done? Well, all them names you called me you is.” The possibilities of the Post Office Telephone Service when fully developed are enormous. In the United States, for instance, there are to-day more telephones in use by farmers than the whole number in use by commercial and all other classes in the United Kingdom. And these telephones are found to add to the profits and comfort of the farmers to an extent which makes the cost of the telephone seem negligible. The British Post Office, following the American example, has arranged that if a sufficient number of subscribers living on or near a country road leading to a town where there is a telephone exchange will agree to use one line, they can telephone as much as they please to people on that exchange for the moderate charge of £3 a year. A British farmer can speak from his farm to all the country round. The telephone saves him inconvenient and expensive journeys to neighbouring towns, while he and his family can talk to their friends and neighbours and can arrange social functions. The proverbial dulness of the country-side may be relieved considerably by the development of the telephone system, and curious results may eventually be seen in our national habits in the future. With a talking instrument installed at every post office and perhaps every house, the whole nation may gradually accustom itself to social intercourse over the wires. The Scotsman may lose some of his reserve, and the Englishman much of his class feeling. On the other hand, the Irishman will find increased opportunities for his natural eloquence. Shall we require in such circumstances to visit one another so frequently? Will railway receipts fall off? Will the taxi-cab wait in vain for a call? There is one certain thing the popularising of the telephone will effect—it will test the sincerity of our friend who protests that he is anxious to see us, and to be in our company. If this sentiment, as is often the case, arises merely out of a desire to hear himself talk, the man may simply use the telephone. We, too, have an advantage: we can cut him off. CHAPTER XIV ENGINEERS, STORES AND FACTORIES (_a_) _The Engineers_