Here is a snipping from official papers. It is on the printed form used in all cases of the written explanation. “Messenger G——: To furnish your explanation as to your conduct towards an old gentleman in —— Street this evening.” “THE POSTMASTER. “SIR,—As I was passing through —— Street last night an old gentleman stood in the street. I threw a potato at the gentleman. I am very sorry, and I hope it will not occur again.” There is no beating about the bush here. As Mr. Birrell said of Dr. Newman: “That love of putting the case most strongly against himself is only one of the lovely characteristics of the man.” Another young hopeful had the misfortune to smash one of the office windows. An indignant Superintendent wanted to know the reason why. The lad made a clean breast of it. He filled in the departmental form giving all particulars, and he finished up with a fine piece of pleading. “I admit I threw the stone, but if the other boy had not ducked, the window would have been all right.” The boys are indeed often very smart in their replies. One was asked to explain “why you were seen walking across the sorting-room with an unlighted cigarette in your mouth.” The answer was: “Because it is forbidden for me to light it in the office.” As an instance of the smart messenger boy, let me tell a story. A young man, having missed a train at Victoria, despatched, with faint hope of its being delivered, a telegram to a young lady whom he should have met at East Croydon Station. The only possible address was of course “Miss X., waiting at East Croydon Station,” and great was his surprise when he found the young lady awaiting him, as the telegram had directed, at Reigate. The young lady told him she was one of a great number of ladies who were on the platform, but the boy, on looking round them, came up to her at once with “A telegram for you, miss.” Curious to know how he had detected the right addressee, she asked him the question, and he replied, “Because you looked so downhearted, miss.” A messenger who was exceedingly troublesome, and who had already received several cautions for his conduct, gave in this touching explanation: “After being cautioned several times about misconducting myself, I tried to turn over a new leaf, but whatever I do it seems that every one is down on me. I try very hard to behave myself but I find that I cannot do so.” The truth must be told: his papers gave no indication of any new leaves. A struggle between two boys in the sorting-room was explained in this way:— “To the Postmaster: Messenger Smith called me a wooden head, so I poured hot tar over his dinner and punched him on the nose: hopeing this will meet with your approval.” It is to children unused to the arts of diplomacy that we have to look for plain statements of facts as they are: we elders grow astute by experience, and we hedge and prevaricate. The following bears all the evidence of a real happening:—