That would be a stultifying development--in the lack of any. Yet what
could he do now to counter such a design, if it existed? He understood
that for some reason Fanchette, always a capricious quantity, had
joined the forces against him--at the instigation of what or whom--or
by the tacit acquiescence of whom? Not of her: his whole soul, his
whole knowledge, rejected the thought of such shallowness, such
treachery, on the part of one proved so incorruptible. They were
inseparable affinities, bound by that subconscious compact, whose
roots were in the mystery of the past. And then, if confirmation were
needed, his pathetic dream! This man of dreams, indeed, trusted their
evidence beyond the most convincing that could be offered by any
living witness. He had seen his love’s eyes, once in that trance, once
on the steps of the Madonna della Steccata, and had read therein a
message of deathless fidelity. It was enough: he could not be
mistaken: he would not wrong her or himself again by the shadow of one
suspicion.
And yet, watching the passage of the fruitless hours, he would
sometimes grow despondent, or angry with his own irresolution, or with
the easy way in which he lent himself to the designs of his enemies.
Would she ever come? Then he would stand listening, as if he heard in
the deep places of his heart the voice of his love crying to him to
hasten and deliver her from the hostile forces by which she was
watched and environed. That was the worst of all; for what was he to
do, how escape from the mesh of uncertainty in which he had involved
himself? To break from it now were to betray himself and her--to
invite the very tragedy he had come here to avoid. Not to avoid for
his own sake, for he was reckless; but he must be wonderfully tender
and considerate in all things which touched upon her wellbeing. For
himself, he held his life lightly, lacking the reassurance which alone
could give it a purpose and a value. He did not seem to care much what
happened to him; what precautions he took were really nominal. That
Bissy should know him was of course inevitable; yet there seemed no
object in confessing himself to the boy--no object in anything in
particular, indeed. It was that very indifference which was his
unconscious safeguard. Where there is no atmosphere of concealment
nobody suspects. He was accepted, generally, on his own showing, and,
specifically, on his own merits.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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