'Poor little chicken,' said the courtesan in contemptuous consolation.
'So thou wouldst have killed me, thy best friend? One who seeks to
destroy the mem! 'Twill be the ruin of her, look you, and then he will
have none of her. That is their way. She will not get him; so pine no
more, child. Lo! I will teach thee how to have lovers and to spare.'
'I want no lovers,' muttered the girl angrily. 'If 'tis to harm her,
and thou hast sworn to that, I care not. And thou hast sworn to let me
be also. That is enough.'
As she rose, folding her white veil round her, Chândni felt sorely
tempted to give the little push which must have overset the weak
balance, and sent Azîzan to certain death below. But the thought that,
if looks said the truth, fate would do the work for her ere long
without scandal, stayed her hand. Besides, the knowledge that the girl
was alive and intent on revenge might be of use in dealing with the
palace-folk, if they showed themselves traitorous to her claims. So,
when she had watched Azîzan go stumbling down the stairs, Chândni
rolled over lazily to meet the midnight wind which was springing up,
and shortly afterwards fell like a child, into dreamless slumber, long
before Azîz, who had sunk down on a step of the silent causeway, hoping
to regain strength for the homeward journey, felt equal to the task. A
deadly despondency had replaced her excitement; yet beneath this again
lay a dull resentment against fate. If she had understood, if she had
known, as Chândni seemed to know, the ways and thoughts of these white
people, she might have done better. She had meant no harm--no harm in
her world at least--for she was not bad. He might, as Chândni said,
turn away from the mem for being wicked, but he would never have
had cause to turn from her, if she had only known. She never would
have done anything to displease him--never have done, or said or
looked---- The sting of shameful memory drove her from her
resting-place to stumble on recklessly in the direction of a twinkling
light upon the mound. That must be the potter's house and he must be
watching for her; there she would at least find shelter. But it was not
the house; it was the potter himself seeking for her among the ruins.
His face, by the light of the cresset he carried, showed haggard, and
its anxiety soothed her, even while it sent a new pain to her heart. He
was unhappy at losing her, and she? O God! how her own heart ached!
Must it always be so when those you loved were lost? Then would _he_
feel so if he had to turn away from the mem? Would it send that pain
into _his_ heart?
The question was insistent, imperative, as, scarcely listening to the
old man's deprecating delight she followed him back to the darkness of
the hut. Even there it haunted her. Through the hot night, through the
long hot day as she lay huddled up out of sight. 'Would he care? And if
he did care, would she be glad or sorry for his pain?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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