Lewis looked at him with an odd expression. 'Then you were both
mistaken, that's all.' And Fitzgerald, if you're quite done talking
about yourself--I've a lot of work to finish, old chap----'
Dan laughed. 'Well! I'll go; but it is true, Gordon, and what is more,
she likes you; any one can see that.'
True! absolutely true. Lewis knew it right well, none better, and the
remembrance of the affection she had given him unasked filled him as
ever with a glow of intense satisfaction. And yet he had to confess
that he was not happy. That idyllic month spent in each other's company
had been charming, but that fortnight of absence had been the reverse.
And what he felt now was something very different from that calm,
contented confidence in their mutual friendship which remained, thank
Heaven, untouched by this new passion. For it was that, and nothing
else. He had felt it before, for other women, this moody, restless,
selfish desire of appropriation, and if Rose would not marry him he
would probably feel it again for some one else. In a half-hearted way
he almost regretted that it should have obtruded itself in this, the
most perfect idyl of his life, and yet, call it what hard names he
would, there it was, a palpable factor in the future. Rose was the best
of friends; but she was also a very charming girl into whose company
he had been thrown, and he had fallen in love with her; naturally
enough--only it complicated matters.
He gave a queer little grimace and began to add up a column of figures,
telling himself that no doubt he would get over it as he had got over
similar attacks before; and that at any rate he would wait and see.
Anything seemed better than the risk of paining Rose by letting her
think that after all he had failed to understand the absolute
unconsciousness of her regard for him. And that she might think so,
seemed more than likely, since with all his experience, all his
knowledge, he was only just beginning to realise that this passionate
love was indeed a thing absolutely apart from his affection for her. So
much so, that it almost seemed to him that it would have been easier to
tell her of the former, if the latter had not hedged her in with
reverence and tenderness. It came to him, with a smile, that indeed and
in truth it would have been easier had he been able to send the barber
round with proposals to her father in native fashion; after all, there
was an immense deal to be said for that side of the question.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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