The Power of Sexual SurrenderRobinson, Marie Nyswander
Science
The Power of Sexual Surrender
Robinson, Marie Nyswander
Frigidity (Psychology); Sex (Psychology); Women -- Sexual behavior
I counsel women to be remorseless with themselves in this search for
any negative feelings they might possess toward their husband and
toward all men. Do not stop when you have seen one or two details that
indicate an amount of feeling you had not clearly known you possessed.
Press onward and inward fearlessly until you have exposed every last
hostile and irrational emotion and attitude you have.
One woman who came to me had worked very hard for five sessions on her
negative feelings toward men. We had started our mutual investigation
when she confessed that any slight irritability on her husband’s part
caused her to feel extremely anxious, often resulted in actual nausea.
We pursued the matter and soon found a great store of antagonism toward
men hidden just beneath the surface of an apparently gentle person.
She had, we discovered, the common, classical conviction that men wish
to exploit women, to bend them to their wills. She soon realized she
had been interpreting many everyday happenings in the light of this
belief. Her husband, an editor, sometimes had to work at home in the
evening and had asked her to keep the television set low until he was
finished. Though she knew his homework was exacting, she took this
to be a characteristic infringement of her “rights” and had a great
deal of stored-up rage about it. She also had hidden rage at such
commonplace duties as bringing his clothes to the cleaner, entertaining
his business friends, cleaning his “filthy” study, etc.
We explored them all, one by one. Neither of us, however, felt that we
had come to the end of the matter. There was something that eluded us.
She as well as I felt certain of that. We persisted, therefore, and the
hidden feeling at last showed itself. Returning to her first complaint,
I asked her if she had ever been physically struck by her husband.
“No,” she replied, “but I often _feel_ that he is going to strike me.”
Knowing her husband to be a kind person, I pursued the matter, and it
soon developed that she had a very strong unconscious conviction that
men in general had no compunction whatever about using their superior
physical strength against women to obtain what they wanted. In other
words, she not only felt that men were basically hostile to women but
that they were potentially extremely violent.
This was a bizarre conviction, and my patient soon realized its
irrational nature. Her picture of men was based on early memories of
a truly sadistic father; he had frequently struck her mother. When
she realized the pervasive importance of this only slightly repressed
physical fear of men she was able to resume a psychological growth that
had been severely impeded from the earliest age.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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