Nor can she hold onto her resentment of the fact that it is generally the male who initiates the sexual act. For it is the same male aggression which protects her, allows her to be wife and mother, that makes him the wooer and she the wooed. Again, knowing how easily women are distracted from sexual feeling by trivial upsets, by the small things that occur during the day, imagine what would happen if women had to take the male’s anxieties and yet be responsible for initiating sex at night. Should such a reversal of roles ever happen to mankind, the world would soon be depopulated. Women must learn to thank God daily for the enormous energy and drive of their men. In terms of this lifelong commitment of man to the service of his wife and family, let us take another look at the things in his conduct which irritate women, or at least irritate women with a frigidity problem, for now they begin to be understandable. Minor irritabilities, cock-of-the-walk behavior, slackness, sloppiness, whatever--these are either the outlets or the results of the accumulated tensions of a man’s day. He will not tell you of the humiliations or defeats or worries of his day in any direct manner usually. As his wife, you must understand that these are the only remonstrances against his hard and anxious struggle that he will permit himself. If you see his behavior in this light it will be difficult to harbor any deep-seated resentment against him; one can only wish to comfort him, to help in any conceivable way to make his burden less onerous, his worries less sharp, his nightmares less frequent. The espousal of this view of the male, the accurate one, can be another great forward step toward femininity. Seeing her man’s aggression in its true light, aimed first and foremost at procuring her safety, happiness, and security, she can now dare to take down, one by one, the precarious defenses she has maintained against him from the beginning of their relationship. She sees that her husband’s wonderful aggression actually defines her true role, makes it ever clearer and more desirable to her. Let us now see how her altered attitude can ultimately affect her and what she can do to hasten and further the process of change. _Chapter 16_ THE NATURE OF SURRENDER When the frigid woman, using the methods described in this section, has divested herself of the destructive fears and false convictions that have been left over from her childhood; and when, in all honesty, she is able to view her husband with new eyes, knowing him to be the hard-beset but loving human being he is rather than an abstract power she had conjured up in his image--when these things are achieved, a profound change begins to take place within her.