The Power of Sexual SurrenderRobinson, Marie Nyswander
Science
The Power of Sexual Surrender
Robinson, Marie Nyswander
Frigidity (Psychology); Sex (Psychology); Women -- Sexual behavior
The young girl may be influenced to reject her feminine role by the
mother as well as by the father. If the mother herself has a strong
resentment of her own femininity and, like so many women, has been
reared to feel that the role of wife and mother is a degraded and
worthless one, she can pass this attitude on to her daughter without
speaking a word. The child sees it in her mother’s reactions to her
father in everyday life, hears it in her complaints, and sometimes
feels it in the resigned and hopeless attitude with which she may face
her life.
When I emphasize this early “masculine” direction which a little girl’s
values may be given, I do not wish to confuse the reader. There is
a “tomboy” stage through which many girls pass. This is a perfectly
natural phase in her development and has nothing to do with the problem
unless the child holds onto her tomboyism until well after twelve
years of age. This natural emulation of little boys is really quite a
feminine gesture on the little girl’s part--she is trying to learn more
about what that wonderful opposite sex does and thinks and feels. In
this way she enters into her first friendly relationships with males
other than her father.
Remember that we called puberty “the chum stage.” The young girl takes
to herself a bosom companion of the same sex with whom she shares
her “secrets.” One of the chief dangers to arise during this part of
the growing-up process comes from this relationship, which is, of
course, a normal one under optimum circumstances. However, if the chum
selected turns out to be precocious as far as sexual experiment with
the opposite sex is concerned, the friendship can lead to harmful
experiences for the more innocent member of the duo.
A girl entering puberty is often attracted to a girl a year or two
older than she is and will idealize this new friend, feeling that any
action she performs is entirely fine and defensible. Neither of these
children is, of course, ready for any truly heterosexual experience,
but the younger one may imitate the older one and attempt to follow
through in a sexual relationship with a boy or older man. Without
mentioning the possible disaster of pregnancy at this early juncture, I
should like to emphasize that sexual intercourse at this age, without
the preparatory stage of adolescence having intervened, can cause a
permanent aversion for the experience. It can produce a trauma of such
severity that the young person may withdraw from the opposite sex
entirely and remain withdrawn. Or it may encourage her to believe that
she has attained her majority and cause her to act out this joyless and
premature experience over and over with many different members of the
opposite sex.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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