The Power of Sexual SurrenderRobinson, Marie Nyswander
Science
The Power of Sexual Surrender
Robinson, Marie Nyswander
Frigidity (Psychology); Sex (Psychology); Women -- Sexual behavior
She was not a very good-looking woman, though she had nice teeth
and large blue eyes. It was her figure that was striking. In direct
contrast to her inner attitude, her figure was round and voluptuous,
almost the American ideal of what is considered “sexy.” Her lips were
full and sensual, but she held them tightly together, which gave her a
censorious, critical, old-maidish look. She was thirty-six years old.
Her “nervous breakdowns” (she persisted in using the expression,
though it was clearly inapplicable in her case), she told me, were
recurrent. She had had them for three successive years. Each of them
had started with a very marked increase in inner tension. She would
feel growingly unable to cope with the manifold social and familial
demands of her life; a great sense of inadequacy would set in gradually
and she would become listless and depressed. Finally the slightest
task would seem too much and she would now start to have day-long bouts
of weeping. During such periods she suffered from chronic insomnia, and
when she was able to snatch a few hours of sleep she would often have
repetitive, nightmarish dreams in which she was pursued by criminals.
At the beginning of our talks Patricia would become extremely guarded
whenever I attempted to open any discussion of a personal nature. She
had come for help with the express conviction that I, the doctor,
should find a quick and easy solution to her periods of acute anxiety:
drugs, a sea voyage, anything that did not entail looking inward,
taking responsibility for her condition. This evasiveness, this desire
to find easy solutions, is characteristic of all forms of frigidity
in women, but it is sometimes extremely pronounced in the type of
frigidity this patient suffered from.
However, as Patricia developed confidence and trust in me, the real
facts gradually emerged. She had been married for ten years and had
two children, six and eight. Her husband was socially prominent,
financially successful, and (as I saw for myself later, when I had
a few discussions with him) strikingly handsome, a slender, tall,
dark-haired man with a gentle and charming manner.
During her entire marriage this patient had never had, she finally told
me, “one solid hour of happiness.” From the very beginning she had
quarreled with her husband, and the domestic strife, at least on her
part, had become truly bitter after the birth of their first son. She
had felt that her husband was becoming increasingly cruel, selfish,
demanding, and insensitive to her needs. She had believed that he was
trying to impose his will on her in any and all situations and that it
was an absolute necessity to struggle against this domination. “I felt
as if he would shatter my integrity if I didn’t put up a fight,” she
told me. “It was as though he wished to have me as a slave, nothing
less; it was either he or I.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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