The Power of Sexual SurrenderRobinson, Marie Nyswander
Science
The Power of Sexual Surrender
Robinson, Marie Nyswander
Frigidity (Psychology); Sex (Psychology); Women -- Sexual behavior
To understand the origins of her problem, we will have to explore her
earliest history, particularly her relationship to her mother and
father. She was an only child, and her father was clearly the dominant
figure in the household. He was an extremely successful and lovable
man. He abounded in all the virtues, was infinitely patient and loving
with his little daughter. She told me that from her earliest times
she considered him, physically speaking, “an enormously beautiful
man,” and in describing him she lingered lovingly over the details of
his appearance--his “sculptured head,” “wonderful deep kindly eyes,”
“marvelously athletic figure.” A psychiatrist, of course, would pay
very close attention to such an ecstatic description, coming as it did
from such an otherwise withdrawn person.
By way of contrast she had considered her mother “mousy” and, while she
had liked her in a general sense, she had never consciously had any
very strong positive feelings about her.
Patricia clearly had been a “daddy’s girl.” There is nothing wrong, of
course, with this under normal circumstances; had she grown up to be
sexually free and had she been able to transfer her early love feelings
from her father to other men, this early attachment to the father would
have been merely a phase in normal development.
It is not necessary here to depict the stages by which Patricia and I
arrived at a clear understanding of the early problem that had caused
her later frigidity. It will be enough to state the events themselves.
You will recall the fact that in the first five years of life the
child is a very sensual little being. Patricia had been no exception
in the beginning; she had transferred these feelings, in the normal
course of events, to her father. However, this powerful and charming
man whose personality dominated the household, overshadowing his wife
completely, had been far too responsive (unwittingly, of course) to
the little girl’s erotic feelings. He dandled her and played with her
endlessly, surrounded her with a stimulating warmth, psychologically
and physically; he showered kisses and hugs, compliments and candy
upon her; he gave her anything and everything to express his devotion
to her.
The consequence? The very strength of his love, its varied and
aggressive forms, its unrelenting intensity, had a negative effect on
the child. To put it most simply, his love overstimulated her budding
sexuality. This powerful man’s love overwhelmed her. Her small ego
could not handle such powerful feelings; they frightened her. In order
to cope with such feelings, therefore, she had had to repress them
powerfully, deny their existence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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