The youth gazed on him for a moment, in an agony that could not yet
find relief in words, and then falling on the floor, burst into a
flood of tears. Ethelston was moved and surprised at this violent
grief in one whom he had so lately seen under the influence of pride
and passion. Taking him kindly by the hand, he said, “Pray compose
yourself! these are misfortunes to which all brave men are liable. You
did all that a gallant officer could do;—success is at the disposal of
a higher power; you will meet it another day.”
“Never, never!” said the young lieutenant, vehemently; “the loss of
my boat is nothing; the failure of our attack is nothing; but I am a
dishonoured coward, and Heaven itself cannot restore a tainted honour!”
“Nay, nay,” replied Ethelston; “you must not say so. I maintain that
you and your crew fought gallantly till every hope of success was
gone—the bravest can do no more!”
“You are blindly generous,” said the youth passionately; “you _will_
not understand me! When every hope was gone—when I lay at the mercy
of your mate’s cutlass—you sprang forward to save my life. I, like
a savage—a monster—a coward, as I am,—fired and tried to kill
you;—even then, without a word of anger or reproach, you, although
wounded by my pistol, again interposed, and saved me from the death I
deserved. Oh, would that I had died an hundred deaths rather than have
lived to such disgrace!”
And again the unhappy young officer buried his face in his hands, while
his whole frame still trembled convulsively with grief. Ethelston used
every exertion to soothe and allay his agitation. He assured him that
the wound he had received was not serious, that the pistol was fired
under a strong excitement, and in the turmoil of a bloody fray, when
no man’s thoughts are sufficiently collected to regulate his conduct;
and he forgave him so freely, and mingled his forgiveness with so
many expressions of kindness and esteem, that he succeeded at length
in restoring him to a certain degree of composure. Nothing, however,
would satisfy L’Estrange but that he should have his wounds instantly
dressed; and he ran himself and summoned the surgeon, resolving to be
present at the operation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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