The dealer took the money and started off, and in five minutes was back with the coat. "Good!" chuckled the other. "I reckoned you'd lay him out. How much did you make for your share?" "Vhell, ash dot is my branch shore, and I only ask six dollar fur de goat, I was about tree dollar ahead." A COMING DIVIDEND. Last fall, when a would-be purchaser of railroad stock called upon Russell Sage and asked him regarding the outlook of certain stock, Mr. Sage replied: "Splendid idea! That stock is certain to raise fifteen per cent." "Upon what do you base your calculations?" "Upon the immense crops to be moved along that line." The other day the same gentleman again interviewed Mr. Sage regarding the same stock, and the great financier replied: "Best outlook in the world for that stock! Certain to advance fifteen per cent." "Do you base your calculations upon last fall's crops?" "No, sir; it's going to be an open winter, and the line will save enough in snow-plows to declare a dividend of five per cent." * * * * * At a party: Merchant--"Ah! How d'do, Mr. Blank? How is your paper coming out? I read it daily. By the way, you are getting up a report of this grand assembly, I suppose?" Editor--"No. By the way, how is your store coming on? My cook buys a good deal of you. You are here drumming up custom, I suppose?" * * * * * "Yes," said Mrs. Towers, as she expatiated upon the beauties of her flower-garden, "I have given it great care, and if you come over in a week or two, I expect to be able to show you some beautiful scarlet pneumonias." * * * * * THE PRAIRIE FARMER AND YOUTH'S COMPANION ONE YEAR, $3 FOR THE TWO. It is not required that both papers be sent to one address, nor to the same post-office. Address Prairie Farmer Pub Co., 150 Monroe Street. Chicago. * * * * * ILLINOIS CENTRAL RAILROAD. The elegant equipment of coaches and sleepers being added to its various through routes is gaining it many friends. Its patrons fear no accidents. Its perfect track of steel, and solid road-bed, are a guarantee against them. * * * * * MEDICAL. DISEASE CURED Without Medicine. _A Valuable Discovery for supplying Magnetism to the Human System. Electricity and Magnetism utilized as never before for Healing the Sick._ THE MAGNETON APPLIANCE CO.'s MAGNETIC KIDNEY BELT! FOR MEN IS WARRANTED TO CURE Or Money Refunded, the following diseases without medicine:--Pain in the Back, Hips, Head, or Limbs, Nervous Debility, Lumbago, General Debility, Rheumatism, Paralysis, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Diseases of the Kidneys, Spinal Diseases, Torpid Liver, GOUT SEMINAL EMISSIONS, IMPOTENCY, ASTHMA, HEART DISEASE, DYSPEPSIA, CONSTIPATION, ERYSIPELAS, INDIGESTION, HERNIA OR RUPTURE, CATARRH, PILES, EPILEPSY, DUMB AGUE, ETC.