The rest of the day and that night she hid in her room and made no
effort to resist the terror that preyed upon her. Just as our strength
is often the source of weakness, so our weaknesses often give birth to
strength. Her terror of the little general, given full swing, shrieked
and grimaced itself into absurdity. She was ashamed of her orgy, was
laughing at it as the sun and intoxicating air of a typical New York
morning poured in upon her. She accepted Mrs. Belloc's invitation to
take a turn through the park and up Riverside Drive in a taxicab, came
back restored to her normal state of blind confidence in the future.
About noon Stanley Baird telephoned.
"We must not see each other again for some time," said he. "I rather
suspect that you--know--who may be having you watched."
"I'm sure of it," said she. "He warned me."
"Don't let that disturb you," pursued Stanley. "A man--a singing
teacher--his name's Eugene Jennings--will call on you this afternoon at
three. Do exactly as he suggests. Let him do all the talking."
She had intended to tell Baird frankly that she thought, indeed knew,
that it was highly dangerous for him to enter into her affairs in any
way, and to urge him to draw off. She felt that it was only fair to
act so toward one who had been unselfishly generous to her. But now
that the time for speaking had come, she found herself unable to speak.
Only by flatly refusing to have anything to do with his project could
she prevail upon him. To say less than that she had completely and
finally changed her mind would sound, and would be, insincere. And
that she could not say. She felt how noble it would be to say this, how
selfish, and weak, too, it was to cling to him, possibly to involve him
in disagreeable and even dangerous complications, but she had no
strength to do what she would have denounced another as base for not
doing. Instead of the lofty words that flow so freely from the lips of
stage and fiction heroines, instead of the words that any and every
reader of this history would doubtless have pronounced in the same
circumstances, she said:
"You're quite sure you want to go on?"
"Why not?" came instantly back over the wire.
"He is a very, very relentless man," replied she.
"Did he try to frighten you?"
"I'm afraid he succeeded."
"You're not going back on the career!" exclaimed he excitedly. "I'll
come down there and--"
"No, no," cried she. "I was simply giving you a chance to free
yourself." She felt sure of him now. She scrambled toward the heights
of moral grandeur. "I want you to stop. I've no right to ask you to
involve yourself in my misfortunes. Stanley, you mustn't. I can't
allow it."
"Oh, fudge!" laughed he. "Don't give me these scares. Don't
forget--Jennings at three. Good-by and good luck."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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