“Not worrying, are you?”
“I’m learning not to worry. Nothing is as bad as it seems.”
He looked at her curiously, puzzled, and troubled on her account.
“It’s a matter of temperament. Perhaps you are not one of the worrying
sort.”
“But I am. One finds that one can learn not to worry about the things
that just concern self. The thing that does worry us is the thought that
we may make other people suffer any loss.”
He said bluntly, “Bills?”
Eve laughed.
“In brief, bills. But I am perfectly solvent, and I could get work
to-morrow if I chose to take it.”
“But you don’t. It’s pride.”
“Yes, pride.”
He walked on beside her in his solid, broad-footed way, staring straight
ahead, and keeping silent for fully half a minute.
Then he said abruptly:
“It hasn’t made any difference, you know.”
It was her turn to feel embarrassed.
“But you understood——”
“Yes, I understood all right. But I want to say just this, I respect you
all the more for having been straight with me, and if you’ll let me have
a waiting chance, I’ll make the best of it. I won’t bother you. I’ve got
a sense of proportion. I’m not the sort of man a woman would get
sentimental over in a hurry.”
Her eyes glimmered.
“You are one of the best men I have ever met. In a city of cads, it is
good to find a man who has a sense of honour.”
He went very red, and seemed to choke something back.
“I shan’t forget that in a hurry. But look here, put the other thing
aside, and let’s just think of ourselves as jolly good friends. Now, I
want you to let me do some of the rough and tumble for you. I’m used to
it. One gets a business skin.”
“I am not going to bother you.”
“Bosh! And if you happen to want—well, you know what, any of the
beastly stuff we pay our bills with——”
She began to show her distress.
“Don’t, please. I know how generously you mean it all, but I’m so made
that I can’t bear to be helped, even by you. Just now my pride is raw,
and I want to go alone through some of these experiences. You may think
it eccentric.”
He stared hard at nothing in particular.
“I don’t know. I suppose it’s in the air. Women are changing.”
“No, don’t believe that. It’s only some of the circumstances of life
that are changing, and we are altering some of our methods. That’s what
life is teaching me. That’s why I want to go on alone. I shall learn so
much more.”
“I should have thought that most people would fight shy of learning in
such a school.”
“Yes, and that is why most of us remain so narrow and selfish and
prejudiced. We refuse to touch realities, and we won’t understand. I
want to understand.”
He walked on, expanding his chest, and looking as though he were
smothering a stout impulse to protest.
“All right; I see. Anyway, I shall be round the corner. You won’t forget
that, will you?”
“No, for you have helped me already.”
“Have I?”
“Of course. It always helps to be able to believe in someone.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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