Had the conversation really taken place? Had they exchanged those cold
commonplaces, those absurd phrases that should have meant so much? Had
he known Gertrude less well, he might have been touched by the
appearance of the limitless faith she had in him, by her blind and
serene confidence that was not capable of being disturbed. But he knew
her better than that. He was hardly so much as a shadow in her life, and
when a second shadow appeared beside hers she did not notice it. She
seemed to have no sense of possession, no sexual pride. Her mental poise
was like some people’s idea of heaven, a place of beautiful and
boundless indifference misnamed “sacred love,” a state that was guilty
of no preferences, no passions, no anguish, no divine despair.
And then there leapt in him a sudden and subtle exultation. This
splendid comradeship that life was offering to him, what could be cried
against it, what was there that could be condemned? It touched no one
but their two selves, could hurt no one. The one woman who might have
complained was being robbed of nothing that she desired. As for
marriage, he had tried it, and saw that it served a certain need. For
five years he had lived the life of a celibate, and the god in him was
master of the beast. He thought no such thoughts of Eve. She was
sunlight, perfumes, the green gloom of the woods, water shining in the
moonlight, all the music that was and would be, all the fairy tales that
had been told, all the ardour of words spoken in faith. She was one
whose eyes could quench all the thirsts of his manhood. To be with her,
to be hers, was sufficient.
Canterton was hardly conscious of the physical part of himself, as he
took a path along one of the cypress walks, passed out by a wicket gate,
and crossed the road into the fir woods. Dusk had fallen, but there was
still a faint grey light under the trees, and there was no undergrowth,
so that one would walk along the woodland aisles as along the aisles of
a church. A feeling of exultation possessed him. The very stillness of
the woods, the darkness that began to drown all distances, were personal
and all-enveloping.
A light was shining in one of the lower windows of the little house at
Orchards Corner when Canterton came to the gate at the end of the lane.
He paused there, leaning his arms on the gate. The blind was up and the
curtain undrawn, and he could see Eve sitting at a table, and bending
over a book or writing a letter.
Canterton crossed the lawn and stood looking in at the lighted window.
Eve was sitting at the table with her back towards him, and he saw the
outline of her head, and the glow of the light upon her hair. She was
wearing a blouse cut low at the throat, and he could see the white curve
of her neck as she bent over the table. There were books and papers
before her. She appeared to be reading and making notes.
He spoke her name.
“Eve!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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