The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"My dear old son," said Smith seriously, "what earthly reason have you
for going on with it? You only came in to help me, and I am no more. I
am gone like some beautiful flower that withers in the night. Where's
the sense of getting yourself beaten up then? Quit!"
John shook his head.
"I wouldn't quit now if you paid me."
"But--"
A policeman appeared at the door.
"Say, pal," he remarked to John, "you'll have to be fading away soon, I
guess. Give you three minutes more. Say it quick."
He retired. Smith looked at John.
"You won't quit?" he said.
"No."
Smith smiled.
"You're an all-wool sport, John," he said. "I don't suppose you know
how to spell quit. Well, then, if you are determined to stand by the
ship like Comrade Casabianca, I'll tell you an idea that came to me in
the watches of the night. If ever you want to get ideas, John, you
spend a night in one of these cells. They flock to you. I suppose I did
more profound thinking last night than I've ever done in my life. Well,
here's the idea. Act on it or not, as you please. I was thinking over
the whole business from soup to nuts, and it struck me that the
queerest part of it all is that whoever owns these Broster Street
tenements should care a Canadian dime whether we find out who he is or
not."
"Well, there's the publicity," began John.
"Tush!" said Smith. "And possibly bah! Do you suppose that the sort of
man who runs Broster Street is likely to care a darn about publicity?
What does it matter to him if the papers soak it to him for about two
days? He knows they'll drop him and go on to something else on the
third, and he knows he's broken no law. No, there's something more in
this business than that. Don't think that this bright boy wants to hush
us up simply because he is a sensitive plant who can't bear to think
that people should be cross with him. He has got some private reason
for wanting to lie low."
"Well, but what difference--?"
"Comrade, I'll tell you. It makes this difference: that the rents are
almost certainly collected by some confidential person belonging to his
own crowd, not by an ordinary collector. In other words, the collector
knows the name of the man he's collecting for. But for this little
misfortune of mine, I was going to suggest that we waylay that
collector, administer the Third Degree, and ask him who his boss is."
John uttered an exclamation.
"You're right! I'll do it."
"You think you can? Alone?"
"Sure! Don't you worry. I'll--"
The door opened and the policeman reappeared.
"Time's up. Slide, sonny."
John said good-by to Smith, and went out. He had a last glimpse of his
late editor, a sad smile on his face, telling the policeman what was
apparently a humorous story. Complete good will seemed to exist between
them. John consoled himself as he went away with the reflection that
Smith's was a temperament that would probably find a bright side even
to a thirty-days' visit to Blackwell's Island.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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