The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
John was conscious of a remarkable exhilaration. He felt insanely
light-hearted. He laughed aloud at the thought that until then he had
completely forgotten the very existence of these earnest seekers after
his downfall. He threw back his head and shouted. There was something
so ridiculous in their assumption that they mattered to a man who had
found Betty again.
He thrust his head down through the trap, to see what was going on. The
dark passage was full of indistinct forms, gathered together in puzzled
groups. The mystery of the vanished object of their pursuit was being
discussed in hoarse whispers.
Suddenly there was an excited shout, then a rush of feet. John drew
back his head, and waited, gripping his stick.
Voices called to each other in the passage below.
"De roof!"
"On top de roof!"
"He's beaten it for de roof!"
Feet shuffled on the stone floor. The voices ceased abruptly. And then,
like a jack-in-the-box, there popped through the trap a head and
shoulders.
The new arrival was a young man with a shock of red hair, a broken
nose, and a mouth from which force or the passage of time had removed
three front teeth. He held on to the edge of the trap, and stared up at
John.
John beamed down at him, and shifted his grip on the stick.
"Who's here?" he cried. "Historic picture. 'Old Dr. Cook discovers the
North Pole.'"
The red-headed young man blinked. The strong light of the open air was
trying to his eyes.
"Youse had best come down," he observed coldly. "We've got youse."
"And," continued John, unmoved, "is instantly handed a gum-drop by his
faithful Eskimo."
As he spoke, he brought the stick down on the knuckles which disfigured
the edges of the trap. The intruder uttered a howl and dropped out of
sight. In the passage below there were whisperings and mutterings,
growing gradually louder till something resembling coherent
conversation came to John's ears, as he knelt by the trap making
meditative billiard shots with the stick at a small pebble.
"Aw g'wan! Don't be a quitter."
"Who's a quitter?"
"Youse a quitter. Get on top de roof. He can't hoit youse."
"De guy's gotten a big stick."
John nodded appreciatively.
"I and Theodore," he murmured.
A somewhat baffled silence on the part of the attacking force was
followed by further conversation.
"Gee! Some guy's got to go up."
Murmur of assent from the audience.
A voice, in inspired tones: "Let Sam do it."
The suggestion made a hit. There was no doubt about that. It was a
success from the start. Quite a little chorus of voices expressed
sincere approval of the very happy solution to what had seemed an
insoluble problem. John, listening from above, failed to detect in the
choir of glad voices one that might belong to Sam himself. Probably
gratification had rendered the chosen one dumb.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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