London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Hyacinth, at any rate, had done the best he could, and the fashionable
doctor had left directions which foreshadowed relations with an
expensive chemist in Bond Street—a prospect by which our young man was
to some extent consoled. Poor Pinnie’s decline, however, was not
arrested, and one evening, more than a week after his return from
Medley, as he sat with her alone, it seemed to Hyacinth that her spirit
must already have passed away. The nurse had gone down to her supper,
and from the staircase a perceptible odour of fizzling bacon indicated
that a more cheerful state of things prevailed in the lower regions.
Hyacinth could not make out whether Miss Pynsent were asleep or awake;
he believed she had not lost consciousness, yet for more than an hour
she had given no sign of life. At last she put out her hand, as if she
knew he was near her and wished to feel for his, and murmured, “Why did
she come? I didn’t want to see her.” In a moment, as she went on, he
perceived to whom she was alluding: her mind had travelled back,
through all the years, to the dreadful day (she had described every
incident of it to him) when Mrs Bowerbank had invaded her quiet life
and startled her sensitive conscience with a message from the prison.
“She sat there so long—so long. She was very large, and I was
frightened. She moaned, and moaned, and cried—too dreadful. I couldn’t
help it—I couldn’t help it!” Her thought wandered from Mrs Bowerbank in
the discomposed show-room, enthroned on the yellow sofa, to the tragic
creature at Milbank, whose accents again, for the hour, lived in her
ears; and mixed with this mingled vision was still the haunting sense
that she herself might have acted differently. That had been cleared up
in the past, so far as Hyacinth’s intention was concerned; but what was
most alive in Pinnie at the present moment was the passion of
repentance, of still further expiation. It sickened Hyacinth that she
should believe these things were still necessary, and he leaned over
her and talked tenderly, with words of comfort and reassurance. He told
her not to think of that dismal, far-off time, which had ceased long
ago to have any consequences for either of them; to consider only the
future, when she should be quite strong again and he would look after
her and keep her all to himself and take care of her better, far
better, than he had ever done before. He had thought of many things
while he sat with Pinnie, watching the shadows made by the
night-lamp—high, imposing shadows of objects low and mean—and among
them he had followed, with an imagination that went further in that
direction than ever before, the probable consequences of his not having
been adopted in his babyhood by the dressmaker. The workhouse and the
gutter, ignorance and cold, filth and tatters, nights of huddling under
bridges and in doorways, vermin, starvation and blows, possibly even
the vigorous efflorescence of an inherited disposition to crime—these
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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