London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
That dim, dreadful, confused legend of his mother’s history, as regards
which what Pinnie had been able to tell him when he first began to
question her was at once too much and too little—this stupefying
explanation had supplied him, first and last, with a hundred different
theories of his identity. What he knew, what he guessed, sickened him,
and what he didn’t know tormented him; but in his illuminated ignorance
he had fashioned forth an article of faith. This had gradually emerged
from the depths of darkness in which he found himself plunged as a
consequence of the challenge he had addressed to Pinnie—while he was
still only a child—on the memorable day which transformed the whole
face of his future. It was one January afternoon. He had come in from a
walk; she was seated at her lamp, as usual with her work, and she began
to tell him of a letter that one of the lodgers had got, describing the
manner in which his brother-in-law’s shop, at Nottingham, had been
rifled by burglars. He listened to her story, standing in front of her,
and then, by way of response, he said to her, “Who was that woman you
took me to see ever so long ago?” The expression of her white face, as
she looked up at him, her fear of such an attack all dormant, after so
many years—her strange, scared, sick glance was a thing he could never
forget, any more than the tone, with her breath failing her, in which
she had repeated, “That woman?”
“That woman, in the prison, years ago—how old was I?—who was dying, and
who kissed me so—as I have never been kissed, as I never shall be
again! Who _was_ she, who WAS she?” Poor Pinnie, to do her justice, had
made, after she recovered her breath, a gallant fight: it lasted a
week; it was to leave her spent and sore for evermore, and before it
was over Anastasius Vetch had been called in. At his instance she
retracted the falsehoods with which she had tried to put him off, and
she made, at last, a confession, a report, which he had reason to
believe was as complete as her knowledge. Hyacinth could never have
told you why the crisis occurred on such a day, why his question broke
out at that particular moment. The strangeness of the matter to himself
was that the germ of his curiosity should have developed so slowly;
that the haunting wonder, which now, as he looked back, appeared to
fill his whole childhood, should only after so long an interval have
crept up to the air. It was only, of course, little by little that he
had recovered his bearings in his new and more poignant consciousness;
little by little that he reconstructed his antecedents, took the
measure, so far as was possible, of his heredity. His having the
courage to disinter, in the _Times_, in the reading-room of the British
Museum, a report of his mother’s trial for the murder of Lord Frederick
Purvis, which was very copious, the affair having been quite a _cause
célèbre;_ his resolution in sitting under that splendid dome, and, with
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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