Female friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
Outside, the drum throbbed distantly, like the beating of a great
excited heart. The thin call of a trumpet sounded keenly like a sigh of
pain. Nearer the tramp of men and horses could be heard. But all these
things only made them feel more absolutely alone together--this man and
this woman who had once been one in marriage! With his breast heaving
quickly with deep, uneven breaths, he suddenly uttered her name in a
thick whisper.
Still she remained as she had been before, motionless and wordless,
while he read her eyes. He dropped his stick, and seized her hands in
both his own, which were cold and shaking.
“Speak!” he said commandingly. “In God’s name, what do you mean, unless
it is that you love me still?”
Her hands were quiet and nerveless in his grasp, and in another instant
he would have lost control and consciousness of what he was doing. But
at this very moment the cabman called to his horse and cracked his whip,
the carriage gave a lurch forward, and they rattled rapidly away.
Recollecting himself, Harold dropped the hands which he had seized so
recklessly, and touched the springs of the curtains, which instantly
flew up, letting in the full light of day.
The fresh air which came in seemed to calm his heated blood, and he was
master of himself again.
When he turned to look at his companion, she was leaning back in exactly
the same position, only her heavy, richly fringed white lids were
dropped over her eyes.
In this way she remained quite still until the carriage stopped before
the door of her apartment. Harold, who thought that she had now really
fainted, was about to summon help from the concierge, when she opened
her eyes with a look of entire self-possession in them, got out of the
cab without the aid of his offered hand, and, bowing her thanks, without
speaking walked past him into the house, with a look of cool dismissal
which made it impossible for him to follow.
Puzzled, confused, bewildered almost to the point of frenzy, he got
back into the cab, and ordered the driver to drive in the Bois until he
should tell him to turn.
Sonia, during that same time, was shut within her room, thinking as
intensely as he. She had been able, by dint of enormous will-power, to
control herself in all other points while indulging herself in one. She
had said to herself during those crucial minutes in the cab, while she
consciously threw open the windows of her soul to this man in that clear
and unrestricted gaze, that she would neither speak nor stir, though the
effort should kill her. She found that she could best carry out this
resolve by relaxing her body utterly, while her will got every moment
tenser in its strain. She had said to herself over and over to what
seemed a thousand times: “Don’t move--don’t speak. Don’t move--don’t
speak”; and the very consciousness that she was equal to this effort
made her the more free in the abandonment with which she had let him
read her heart in her eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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