Esther did not answer. There was something in the silence of the room,
something in the peculiar feel of the atmosphere that made Alston
certain she had balked. He recognised that pause in the human animal
under inquisition, and for a wonder, since he had never been wound up to
breaking point himself, knew how it felt. The machinery in the brain had
suddenly stopped. He was not surprised that Esther could not go on. It
was not obstinacy that deterred her. It was panic. He had put her, he
knew, to too harsh a test. Now he had to soothe her affrighted mind and
bring it back to its clear uses; and since he could honestly do it, as
the lawyer exercising professional medicine, he gave himself gladly to
the task.
"Esther," he said, "it is infernal to ask you these personal questions.
But you will have to bring yourself to answer them if we are to decide
whether you have any case and whether I can send you to another man. But
if you do engage counsel, you'll have to talk to him freely. You'll have
to answer all sorts of questions. It's a pretty comprehensive thing to
admit the law into your private life, because you've got to give it
every right there. You'll be questioned. And you'll have to answer."
Esther sat looking at him steadily. As she looked, her pale cheek seemed
to fill and flush and a light ran into her eyes, until the glow spilled
over and dazzled him, like something wavering between him and her. He
had never seen that light in her eyes, nor indeed the eyes of any woman,
nor would he have said that he could bear to see it there unsummoned.
Yet had he not summoned it unconsciously, hard as he was trying to play
the honest game between an unattached woman and a man who sees her
fetters where she has ceased to see them, but can only feel them gall
her? Had not the inner spirit of him been speaking through all this
interview to the inner spirit of her, and was she not willing now to let
it cry out and say to him, "I am here "? Esther was willing to cry out.
In the bewilderment of it, he did not know whether it was superb of her,
though he would have felt it in another woman to be shameless. The
lustrous lights of her eyes dwelt upon him, unwavering. Then her lips
confirmed them.
"Well," said Esther, "isn't it worth it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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