She stood there under the dim hall-light, a girlish creature in her
white dress, but with wonderful colour blooming in her cheeks. He could
not know that hate had brought it there. She seemed to him the flower of
her own beauty, rich, overpowering. She held the door open for him, and
when he had followed her into the library, she turned and put both her
hands upon his arm, her soft nearness like a perfume and a breath. To
Reardon, she was immeasurably beautiful and as far as that above him.
His heart beating terribly in his ears, he drew her to him sure that, in
her aloofness, she would reprove him. But Esther, to his infinite joy
and amazement, melted into his arms and clung there.
"God!" said Reardon. She heard him saying it more than once as if
entirely to himself and no smaller word would do. "You don't--" he said
to her then, "you don't--care about me? It ain't possible." Reardon had
reverted to oldest associations and forgotten his verb.
She did not tell him whether she cared about him. She did not need to.
The constraining of her touch was enough, and presently they were
sitting face to face, he holding her hands and leaning to hear her
whispered words. For she had immediately her question ready:
"Do you think I ought to live like this--afraid?"
"Afraid?" asked Reardon. "Of him?"
"Yes. He came this afternoon. There is nobody to stand between us. I am
afraid."
Reardon made the only answer possible, and felt the thrill of his own
adequacy.
"I'll stand between you."
"But you can't," she said. "You've no right."
"There's but one thing for you to do," said Reardon. "Tell what you're
telling me to a lawyer. And I'll--" he hesitated. He hardly knew how to
put it so that her sense of fitness should not be offended. "I'll find
the money," he ended lamely.
The small hands stayed willingly in his. Reardon was a happy man, but at
the same time he was curiously ashamed. He was a clean man who ate
moderately and slept well and had the proper amount of exercise, and
this excess of emotion jarred him in a way that irritated him. He did
blame Jeff, who was at the bottom of this beautiful creature's misery.
Still, if Jeff had not left her, she would not be sitting here now with
the white hands in his. But he was conscious of a disturbing element of
the unlawful, like eating a hurtful dish at dinner. Reardon had lived
too long in a cultivating of the middle way to embark with joyousness on
illicit possessing. As the traditions of Addington were wafting Alston
Choate away from this primitive little Circe on her isle, so his
acquired habits of safe and healthful living were wafting him. If his
inner refusals could have been spoken crudely out they would have
amounted to a miserable plea:
"Look here. It ain't because I don't want you. But there's Jeff."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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