She had risen now, and was smiling placidly up at the colonel. He
frowned at her, involuntarily. He was ready to accept Madame Beattie's
knowing neither good nor evil, but she seemed to him singularly
unpleasant in flaunting that lack of bias. She was quite conscious of
his distaste, but it didn't trouble her. Unproductive opinions were
nothing to her now, especially in Addington.
"You're not going, too," said the colonel, as Esther rose and followed
her. "I hoped--" But what he hoped he kept himself from saying.
"I must," said Esther, with a little deprecatory look and another
significant one at Madame Beattie's back. "Good-bye."
She threw Lydia, in her scornful silence there in the background, a
smile and nod.
"But--" the colonel began. Again he had to stop. How could he ask her to
come again when he was in the dark about her reason for coming at all?
"I have to go," she said. "I really have to, this time."
Meantime Jeff, handing Madame Beattie into the carriage, had had his
word with her.
"You'll do nothing until I see you."
"If you see me moderately soon," said Madame Beattie pleasantly.
"Esther, are you coming?"
"No," said Esther, with a scrupulous politeness. "No, thank you. I shall
walk."
But before she went, and well in the rear of the carriage, so that even
Denny should not see, she gave Jeff one look, a suffused, appealing look
that bade him remember how unhappy she was, how unprotected and, most of
all, how feminine. She and the carriage also had in the next instant
gone, and Jeff went stolidly back up the steps. There was sweat on his
forehead and he drew his breath like a man dead-tired.
"My son," began the colonel.
"Don't," said Jeff shortly. He knew what his father would like to do:
ask, in the sincerest sympathy, why Esther had come, discuss it and
decide with him whether she was to come again and stay, whether it would
be ill or well for him. The red mounted to the colonel's forehead, and
Jeff put a hand on his shoulder. He couldn't help remembering that his
father had called him "son" in a poignancy of sympathy all through the
trials of the past, and it hurt to hear it now. It linked that time with
this, as Madame Beattie, in her unabashed self-seeking, linked it.
Perhaps he was never to escape. A prisoner, that was what he was. They
were all prisoners, Madame Beattie to her squalid love of gain, Esther
to her elementary love of herself, Lydia--he looked at her as she stood
still in the background like a handmaid waiting. Why, Lydia was a
prisoner, as he had thought before, only not, as he had believed then,
to the glamour of love, but love, actual love for him, the kind that
stands the stress of all the homely services and disillusioning. A smile
broke over his face, and Lydia, incredulously accepting it, gave a
little sob that couldn't be prevented in time, and took one dancing
step. She ran up to the colonel, and pulled him away from Jeff. It
seemed as if she were about to make him dance, too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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