Never till my brother was down did we perceive that there had been
witnesses to the whole business. Our ears were then astounded by rude
challenges of unfair play, which were quite appalling to me; but my
friend laughed at them and conducted me off in perfect safety. As to
the unfairness of the transaction, I can say thus much, that my royal
friend's sword was down ere ever mine was presented. But if it still be
accounted unfair to take up a conqueror, and punish him in his own way,
I answer: That if a man is sent on a positive mission by his master,
and hath laid himself under vows to do his work, he ought not to be too
nice in the means of accomplishing it; and, further, I appeal to holy
writ, wherein many instances are recorded of the pleasure the Lord
takes in the final extinction of the wicked and profane; and this
position I take to be unanswerable.
I was greatly disturbed in my mind for many days, knowing that the
transaction had been witnessed, and sensible also of the perilous
situation I occupied, owing to the late judgment of the court against
me. But on the contrary, I never saw my enlightened friend in such high
spirits. He assured me there was no danger; and again repeated that he
warranted my life against the power of man. I thought proper, however,
to remain in hiding for a week; but, as he said, to my utter amazement,
the blame fell on another, who was not only accused but pronounced
guilty by the general voice, and outlawed for non-appearance! How could
I doubt, after this, that the hand of Heaven was aiding and abetting
me? The matter was beyond my comprehension; and, as for my friend, he
never explained anything that was past, but his activity and art were
without a parallel.
He enjoyed our success mightily; and for his sake I enjoyed it
somewhat, but it was on account of his comfort only, for I could not
for my life perceive in what degree the Church was better or purer than
before these deeds were done. He continued to flatter me with great
things, as to honours, fame and emolument; and, above all, with the
blessing and protection of Him to whom my body and soul were dedicated.
But, after these high promises, I got no longer peace; for he began to
urge the death of my father with such an unremitting earnestness that I
found I had nothing for it but to comply. I did so; and cannot express
his enthusiasm of approbation. So much did he hurry and press me in
this that I was forced to devise some of the most openly violent
measures, having no alternative. Heaven spared me the deed, taking, in
that instance, the vengeance in its own hand; for, before my arm could
effect the sanguine but meritorious act, the old man followed his son
to the grave. My illustrious and zealous friend seemed to regret this
somewhat, but he comforted himself with the reflection, that still I
had the merit of it, having not only consented to it, but in fact
effected it, for by doing the one action I had brought about both.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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