The next day was with me a day of holy exultation. It was begun by my
reverend father laying his hands upon my head and blessing me, and then
dedicating me to the Lord in the most awful and impressive manner. It
was in no common way that he exercised this profound rite, for it was
done with all the zeal and enthusiasm of a devotee to the true cause,
and a champion on the side he had espoused. He used these remarkable
words, which I have still treasured up in my heart: "I give him unto
Thee only, to Thee wholly, and to Thee for ever. I dedicate him unto
Thee, soul, body, and spirit. Not as the wicked of this world, or the
hirelings of a Church profanely called by Thy name, do I dedicate this
Thy servant to Thee: Not in words and form, learned by rote, and
dictated by the limbs of Antichrist, but, Lord, I give him into Thy
hand, as a captain putteth a sword into the hand of his sovereign,
wherewith to lay waste his enemies. May he be a two-edged weapon in Thy
hand and a spear coming out of Thy mouth, to destroy, and overcome, and
pass over; and may the enemies of Thy Church fall down before him, and
be as dung to fat the land!"
From the moment, I conceived it decreed, not that I should be a
minister of the gospel, but a champion of it, to cut off the enemies of
the Lord from the face of the earth; and I rejoiced in the commission,
finding it more congenial to my nature to be cutting sinners off with
the sword than to be haranguing them from the pulpit, striving to
produce an effect which God, by his act of absolute predestination, had
for ever rendered impracticable. The more I pondered on these things
the more I saw of the folly and inconsistency of ministers in spending
their lives striving and remonstrating with sinners in order to induce
them to do that which they had it not in their power to do. Seeing that
God had from all eternity decided the fate of every individual that was
to be born of woman, how vain was it in man to endeavour to save those
whom their Maker had, by an unchangeable decree, doomed to destruction.
I could not disbelieve the doctrine which the best of men had taught
me, and towards which he made the whole of the Scriptures to bear, and
yet it made the economy of the Christian world appear to me as an
absolute contradiction. How much more wise would it be, thought I, to
begin and cut sinners off with the sword! For till that is effected,
the saints can never inherit the earth in peace. Should I be honoured
as an instrument to begin this great work of purification, I should
rejoice in it. But, then, where had I the means, or under what
direction was I to begin? There was one thing clear, I was now the
Lord's and it behoved me to bestir myself in His service. Oh that I had
an host at my command, then would I be as a devouring fire among the
workers of iniquity!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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