The Private Papers of Henry RyecroftGissing, George
General
The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft
Gissing, George
English fiction -- 19th century
It is all but dark. For a quarter of an hour I must have been writing by
a glow of firelight reflected on to my desk; it seemed to me the sun of
summer. Snow is still falling. I see its ghostly glimmer against the
vanishing sky. To-morrow it will be thick upon my garden, and perchance
for several days. But when it melts, when it melts, it will leave the
snowdrop. The crocus, too, is waiting, down there under the white mantle
which warms the earth.
XXIV.
Time is money--says the vulgarest saw known to any age or people. Turn
it round about, and you get a precious truth--money is time. I think of
it on these dark, mist-blinded mornings, as I come down to find a
glorious fire crackling and leaping in my study. Suppose I were so poor
that I could not afford that heartsome blaze, how different the whole day
would be! Have I not lost many and many a day of my life for lack of the
material comfort which was necessary to put my mind in tune? Money is
time. With money I buy for cheerful use the hours which otherwise would
not in any sense be mine; nay, which would make me their miserable
bondsman. Money is time, and, heaven be thanked, there needs so little
of it for this sort of purchase. He who has overmuch is wont to be as
badly off in regard to the true use of money, as he who has not enough.
What are we doing all our lives but purchasing, or trying to purchase,
time? And most of us, having grasped it with one hand, throw it away
with the other.
XXV.
The dark days are drawing to an end. Soon it will be spring once more; I
shall go out into the fields, and shake away these thoughts of
discouragement and fear which have lately too much haunted my fireside.
For me, it is a virtue to be self-centred; I am much better employed,
from every point of view, when I live solely for my own satisfaction,
than when I begin to worry about the world. The world frightens me, and
a frightened man is no good for anything. I know only one way in which I
could have played a meritorious part as an active citizen--by becoming a
schoolmaster in some little country town, and teaching half a dozen
teachable boys to love study for its own sake. That I could have done, I
daresay. Yet, no; for I must have had as a young man the same mind that
I have in age, devoid of idle ambitions, undisturbed by unattainable
ideals. Living as I do now, I deserve better of my country than at any
time in my working life; better, I suspect, than most of those who are
praised for busy patriotism.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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