Mr Trevannion made no reply; he had resumed his pipe, and continued to
smoke it, with his eyes fixed upon the mantel-piece. As soon as his
pipe was out, he rose, put on his hat, and walked out of the room,
without making any further observation. I waited a few minutes, and
then went back to the counting-house.
That Mr Trevannion was seriously offended I was convinced; but I valued
the good opinion of his daughter more than I did that of Mr Trevannion;
indeed, my feelings towards her had, during the year that I had been in
the house, gradually become of that nature that they threatened much my
peace of mind. I cannot say that I loved her in the usual acceptation
of the term,--adoration would better express what I felt. She was so
pure, so perfect, such a model of female perfection, that I looked up to
her with a reverence which almost quelled any feeling of love. I felt
that she was above me, and that, with her wealth, it would be madness
for one in my present position to aspire to her. Yet with this feeling
I would have sacrificed all my hopes and present advantages to have
obtained her approving smiles. It is not, therefore, to be wondered at
that I risked Mr Trevannion's displeasure to gain her approbation; and
when I resumed my seat at my desk, and thought of what had passed, I
made up my mind to be once more an outcast in the world rather than
swerve from the promise which I had made to her. I knew Mr Trevannion
to be a very decided man, and hasty when offended. That he was
seriously offended with me there was no doubt. I found that he had
quitted the house immediately after he had left the room. I had hoped
that he had gone to his daughter's apartments, and that a conversation
with her might have produced a good effect; but such was not the case.
In about half an hour Mr Trevannion returned, and as he walked into the
back room adjoining the counting-house, he desired me to follow him. I
did so. "Mr Elrington," said he, sitting down, and leaving me standing
at the table, "I fear, after what has passed, that we shall not continue
on good terms. You have reproached me, an old man, with carrying on an
unlawful business; in short, in raising your own scruples and talking of
your own conscience, you have implied that I am acting contrary to what
conscience should dictate. In short, you have told me, by implication,
that I am not an honest man. You have thrown back in my face my liberal
offer. My wish to oblige you has been treated not only with
indifference, but I may add with contumely;--and that merely because you
have formed some absurd notions of right and wrong in which you will
find no one to agree with you, except, perhaps, priests and women. I
wish you well, Mr Elrington, nevertheless. I am truly sorry for your
infatuation, and wished to have served you, but you will not be assisted
by me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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