The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comediesRoberts, Morley
General
The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comedies
Roberts, Morley
English fiction -- 20th century; Sea stories, English; Short stories, English
"He's made of teak," said the admiring crowd. "Now, there ain't one
of us wouldn't be bunged up if we'd been hit about like him, and he
ain't got a mark."
"It reminds me of a Chinky I fo't once," said one of the men. "I
knocked him down seven times, and then two other chaps chucked him
out. And next morning he was as cheerful as you please and never
fazed; not a mark to him. I give him ten cents for a drink to let me
look at him close. Dutchy's just such another, he's a real tough, so
he is."
Hans's marvellous capacity for being hammered was soon noted aft.
"Why don't you take a pillow to him?" said Noyes, with a sneer. "To
see you hit him, Bragg, makes me tired, and you used to be a hard
man, too."
The mate was injured in his tenderest point.
"I done my best," he said suddenly. "I carn't help it if the swine
is made of injy-rubber. I pretty near skinned my knuckles on him
yesterday, and he's as fresh as paint to-day. Try him yourself, sir."
"I hired you," retorted Noyes; "but if I do get at him you'll see
something fly."
They were well to the nor'ard and eastward of the Horn before Noyes
happened to try, and it was blowing a snorter from the south-west.
As the men came down on the poop after stowing the lower
mizzen-topsail, Hans, having gum-boots on, slipped and fell against
the skipper. The next moment Hans was on his back and Noyes had his
knuckles to his own mouth.
"Great Scott!" said Noyes, with a face like a comic door-knocker or a
Japanese grotesque, and he turned about and went below.
"It serves him right," said Hans. "Oh, no, I ain't hurt. It is
nuttin'."
And though he showed nothing, not even a slight puffiness on his high
cheek-bone, the skipper wore a mitten on his right hand for days.
Noyes even conceived a certain respect for the Finn.
"I thought I'd hit a bollard," he said. "I ought to have hit him on
the jaw, or where he keeps his wind."
By dint of these object-lessons Hans gradually got an easier time.
If Bragg ever went for him he kicked him, and the marks he made, if
he made any, did not show, for Hans came on board clothed, and never
undressed till they reached the Line in the Atlantic. There he took
a bath. As he said, he always made a point of having some buckets of
water thrown over him every time he crossed the equator homeward
bound; perhaps he thought it kept him fresh. But by then Bragg was
even tired of kicking him. Nothing made him go slower or faster. He
went at the pace he had been born to, and he never learnt anything
more than he had known at seventeen. If there is any truth in the
transmigration of souls, Hans must have been a tortoise and was
destined to "jump up" again as a sloth. But once, after a long slow
month of provocation, he hit the real Dutchman from Amsterdam, and
that native of Holland "went to sleep" for two hours.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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