“Yes. I always meant him to propose to me.”
“Why?”
“Because I always thought it would be supremely idiotic of me to accept
him.”
The Prophet felt that if he listened to another remark of such a nature
his brain would snap and he would instantly be taken with a tearing fit
of hysterics. He therefore turned round and slowly ascended to the first
floor.
“Kindly step into the drawing-room,” he said, having first, by a rapid
glance, assured himself that Malkiel was not changing Mr. Ferdinand’s
trousers there. “I will send Mrs. Fancy to chaperon you.”
Lady Enid stepped in obediently, and the Prophet, who could distinctly
hear Mrs. Fancy sobbing on the landing above, proceeded thither, took
her hand and guided her down to the drawing-room.
“Oh, my poor, poor missis!” gulped the devoted creature. “Oh, my--”
“Precisely,” rejoined the Prophet, with passionless equanimity. “Please
go in there and remain to guard this young lady.”
He assisted Mrs. Fancy to fall in a heap upon the nearest sociable, and
then, still moving with a species of frozen deliberation, betook himself
once more to the hall. The astronomer and Gustavus were standing there
in silence.
“Sir Tiglath,” said the Prophet, in a very formal manner, “you can now
begin to search for this ruffian.”
Sir Tiglath cleared his throat, and continued to stand still.
“I hope you will find him,” continued the Prophet.
Sir Tiglath cleared his throat again and added,--
“Why?”
“Why? Because I think it quite time that he was murdered,” answered the
Prophet, unemotionally. “Well! why don’t you search?”
The astronomer, whose face began to look less red than usual, rolled
his glassy eyes round upon the shadowy hall, the dim staircase and the
gloomy-looking closed doors that confronted them.
“Where is the old astronomer to search?” he asked, in a low voice.
“Oh-h-h-h!”
The final exclamation sounded remarkably tremulous.
“Anywhere--except in my grandmother’s bedroom. That of course is sacred.
Well, why don’t you begin?”
Sir Tiglath eyed the Prophet furtively.
“I’m--I’m going to,” he murmured hoarsely. “The old astronomer does not
know the meaning of the word--fear.”
Exactly as he uttered these inspiring words the hall clock growled, like
a very large dog, and struck two. Sir Tiglath started and caught hold
of Gustavus, who started in his turn and shrank away. The Prophet alone
stood up to the clock, which finished its remark with a click, and
resumed its habitual occupation of ticking.
“Pray begin, Sir Tiglath,” said the Prophet.
“The old astronomer--must have a--a--a--candle.”
“Here is one,” said the Prophet, handing the desired article.
“A lighted candle.”
“Why lighted? Oh, so that you can see to murder him! Gustavus, light the
candle.”
Gustavus, who was trembling a good deal more than an autumn leaf,
complied after about fifteen unavailing attempts.
“There, Sir Tiglath,” said the Prophet. “Now you can begin.” And he
seated himself upon a settee, leaned back and crossed his legs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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