The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 03: Swift's Writings on Religion and the Church — Volume 1Swift, Jonathan
Religion
The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 03: Swift's Writings on Religion and the Church — Volume 1
Swift, Jonathan
Christianity; Church of England; Clergy; Religion
Corusodes, thus endowed, got into holy orders; having, by the most
extreme parsimony, saved thirty-four pounds out of a very beggarly
fellowship, he went up to London, where his sister was waitingwoman to a
lady, and so good a solicitor, that by her means he was admitted to read
prayers in the family twice a-day, at fourteen[1] shillings a month. He
had now acquired a low, obsequious, awkward bow, and a talent of gross
flattery both in and out of season; he would shake the butler by the
hand; he taught the page his catechism, and was sometimes admitted to
dine at the steward's table. In short, he got the good word of the whole
family, and was recommended by my lady for chaplain to some other noble
houses, by which his revenue (besides vales) amounted to about thirty
pounds a-year: His sister procured him a scarf from my lord, who had a
small design of gallantry upon her; and by his lordship's solicitation
he got a lectureship in town of sixty pounds a-year; where he preached
constantly in person, in a grave manner, with an audible voice, a style
ecclesiastic, and the matter (such as it was) well suited to the
intellectuals of his hearers. Some time after, a country living fell in
my lord's disposal; and his lordship, who had now some encouragement
given him of success in his amour, bestowed the living on Corusodes, who
still kept his lectureship and residence in town; where he was a
constant attendant at all meetings relating to charity, without ever
contributing further than his frequent pious exhortations. If any woman
of better fashion in the parish happened to be absent from church, they
were sure of a visit from him in a day or two, to chide and to dine with
them.
[Footnote 6: Scott has "ten shillings." [T.S.]]
He had a select number of poor constantly attending at the street door
of his lodgings, for whom he was a common solicitor to his former
patroness, dropping in his own halfcrown among the collection, and
taking it out when he disposed of the money. At a person of quality's
house, he would never sit down till he was thrice bid, and then upon the
corner of the most distant chair. His whole demeanour was formal and
starch, which adhered so close, that he could never shake it off in his
highest promotion.
His lord was now in high employment at court, and attended by him with
the most abject assiduity; and his sister being gone off with child to a
private lodging, my lord continued his graces to Corusodes, got him to
be a chaplain in ordinary, and in due time a parish in town, and a
dignity in the Church.
He paid his curates punctually, at the lowest salary, and partly out of
the communion money; but gave them good advice in abundance. He married
a citizen's widow, who taught him to put out small sums at ten per
cent., and brought him acquainted with jobbers in Change-alley. By her
dexterity he sold the clerkship of his parish, when it became vacant.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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