The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07: Historical and Political Tracts-IrishSwift, Jonathan
General
The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. - Volume 07: Historical and Political Tracts-Irish
Swift, Jonathan
Ireland -- Politics and government -- 18th century
From those who have considerable estates in different kingdoms, and yet
are so incurably stupid as to spend their whole incomes in this.
These, and several other articles which might be mentioned, would afford
us a perpetual opportunity of easing the public, by having an hospital
for the accommodation of such incurables; who, at present, either by the
over-fondness of near relations, or the indolence of the magistrates,
are permitted to walk abroad, and appear in the most crowded places of
this city, as if they were indeed reasonable creatures.
I had almost forgot to hint, that, under this article, there is a modest
probability that many of the clergy would be found properly qualified
for admittance into the hospital, who might serve in the capacity of
chaplains, and save the unnecessary expense of salaries.
To these fools, in order succeed such as may justly be included under
the extensive denomination of incurable knaves; of which our several
Inns of Court would constantly afford us abundant supplies.
I think indeed, that, of this species of incurables, there ought to be a
certain limited number annually admitted; which number, neither any
regard to the quiet or benefit of the nation, nor any other charitable
or public-spirited reason, should tempt us to exceed; because, if all
were to be admitted on such a foundation, who might be reputed incurable
of this distemper; and if it were possible for the public to find any
place large enough for their reception; I have not the least doubt, that
all our Inns, which are at this day so crowded, would in a short time be
emptied of their inhabitants; and the law, that beneficial craft, want
hands to conduct it.
I tremble to think what herds of attorneys, solicitors, pettifoggers,
scriveners, usurers, hackney-clerks, pickpockets, pawn-brokers, jailors,
and justices of the peace, would hourly be driven to such an hospital;
and what disturbance it might also create in several noble and wealthy
families.
What unexpected distress might it prove to several men of fortune and
quality, to be suddenly deprived of their rich stewards, in whom they
had for many years reposed the utmost confidence, and to find them
irrecoverably lodged among such a collection of incurables!
How many orphans might then expect to see their guardians hurried away
to the hospital; and how many greedy executors find reason to lament the
want of opportunity to pillage!
Would not Exchange Alley have cause to mourn for the loss of its
stock-jobbers and brokers; and the Charitable Corporation for the
confinement of many of its directors?
Might not Westminster-Hall, as well as all the gaming-houses in this
great city, be entirely unpeopled; and the professors of art in each of
those assemblies become useless in their vocations, by being deprived of
all future opportunity to be dishonest?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account