The Prussian OfficerLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
The Prussian Officer
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
Fiction; Short stories
“We ask Thee, Lord,” the old man cried, “to look after this childt.
Fatherless he is. But what does the earthly father matter before Thee?
The childt is Thine, he is Thy childt. Lord, what father has a man but
Thee? Lord, when a man says he is a father, he is wrong from the first
word. For Thou art the Father, Lord. Lord, take away from us the
conceit that our children are ours. Lord, Thou art Father of this
childt as is fatherless here. O God, Thou bring him up. For I have
stood between Thee and my children; I’ve had _my_ way with them, Lord;
I’ve stood between Thee and my children; I’ve cut ’em off from Thee
because they were mine. And they’ve grown twisted, because of me. Who
is their father, Lord, but Thee? But I put myself in the way, they’ve
been plants under a stone, because of me. Lord, if it hadn’t been for
me, they might ha’ been trees in the sunshine. Let me own it, Lord,
I’ve done ’em mischief. It could ha’ been better if they’d never known
no father. No man is a father, Lord: only Thou art. They can never grow
beyond Thee, but I hampered them. Lift ’em up again, and undo what I’ve
done to my children. And let this young childt be like a willow tree
beside the waters, with no father but Thee, O God. Aye an’ I wish it
had been so with my children, that they’d had no father but Thee. For
I’ve been like a stone upon them, and they rise up and curse me in
their wickedness. But let me go, an’ lift Thou them up, Lord....”
The minister, unaware of the feelings of a father, knelt in trouble,
hearing without understanding the special language of fatherhood. Miss
Rowbotham alone felt and understood a little. Her heart began to
flutter; she was in pain. The two younger daughters kneeled unhearing,
stiffened and impervious. Bertha was thinking of the baby; and the
younger mother thought of the father of her child, whom she hated.
There was a clatter in the scullery. There the youngest son made as
much noise as he could, pouring out the water for his wash, muttering
in deep anger:
“Blortin’, slaverin’ old fool!”
And while the praying of his father continued, his heart was burning
with rage. On the table was a paper bag. He picked it up and read,
“John Berryman—Bread, Pastries, etc.” Then he grinned with a grimace.
The father of the baby was baker’s man at Berryman’s. The prayer went
on in the middle kitchen. Laurie Rowbotham gathered together the mouth
of the bag, inflated it, and burst it with his fist. There was a loud
report. He grinned to himself. But he writhed at the same time with
shame and fear of his father.
The father broke off from his prayer; the party shuffled to their feet.
The young mother went into the scullery.
“What art doin’, fool?” she said.
The collier youth tipped the baby under the chin, singing:
“Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s man,
Bake me a cake as fast as you can....”
The mother snatched the child away. “Shut thy mouth,” she said, the
colour coming into her cheek.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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