The Prussian OfficerLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
The Prussian Officer
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
Fiction; Short stories
“How funny he looks with his face upside down,” she thought. After all,
there was a difference between her and the common people. The water in
which his arms were plunged was quite black, the soap-froth was
darkish. She could scarcely conceive him as human. Mechanically, under
the influence of habit, he groped in the black water, fished out soap
and flannel, and handed them backward to Louisa. Then he remained rigid
and submissive, his two arms thrust straight in the panchion,
supporting the weight of his shoulders. His skin was beautifully white
and unblemished, of an opaque, solid whiteness. Gradually Louisa saw
it: this also was what he was. It fascinated her. Her feeling of
separateness passed away: she ceased to draw back from contact with him
and his mother. There was this living centre. Her heart ran hot. She
had reached some goal in this beautiful, clear, male body. She loved
him in a white, impersonal heat. But the sun-burnt, reddish neck and
ears: they were more personal, more curious. A tenderness rose in her,
she loved even his queer ears. A person—an intimate being he was to
her. She put down the towel and went upstairs again, troubled in her
heart. She had only seen one human being in her life—and that was Mary.
All the rest were strangers. Now her soul was going to open, she was
going to see another. She felt strange and pregnant.
“He’ll be more comfortable,” murmured the sick woman abstractedly, as
Louisa entered the room. The latter did not answer. Her own heart was
heavy with its own responsibility. Mrs Durant lay silent awhile, then
she murmured plaintively:
“You mustn’t mind, Miss Louisa.”
“Why should I?” replied Louisa, deeply moved.
“It’s what we’re used to,” said the old woman.
And Louisa felt herself excluded again from their life. She sat in
pain, with the tears of disappointment distilling her heart. Was that
all?
Alfred came upstairs. He was clean, and in his shirt-sleeves. He looked
a workman now. Louisa felt that she and he were foreigners, moving in
different lives. It dulled her again. Oh, if she could only find some
fixed relations, something sure and abiding.
“How do you feel?” he said to his mother.
“It’s a bit better,” she replied wearily, impersonally. This strange
putting herself aside, this abstracting herself and answering him only
what she thought good for him to hear, made the relations between
mother and son poignant and cramping to Miss Louisa. It made the man so
ineffectual, so nothing. Louisa groped as if she had lost him. The
mother was real and positive—he was not very actual. It puzzled and
chilled the young woman.
“I’d better fetch Mrs Harrison?” he said, waiting for his mother to
decide.
“I suppose we shall have to have somebody,” she replied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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