A great part of the hostility which a child feels towards the parent of his own sex is, as we have seen, due to jealousy. This jealousy is, in all probability, to some extent an inevitable accompaniment of the love the child feels towards the parent of opposite sex and--like the more sensual aspects of that love itself--is destined to disappear from consciousness in the course of normal development. Here it would seem that the aim of our endeavour should be to prevent the excessive arousal of this jealousy, which if too strong would bring about a serious tendency to fixation at the stage of primitive parent-hatred. To achieve this end much can be done by the maintenance within due bounds of the love relationship between the child and his parent of the opposite sex; if the love of the child towards one of his parents is developed in excess, the hostility towards the other parent is apt to be correspondingly developed. Again, the early arousal of affection between the child and his parent of the same sex will act as the strongest and most natural preventive of hatred. General harmony within the family, and particularly between the two parents, is also an advantage, since under these conditions the child is less likely to look upon the parent of his own sex as a tyrant or an intruder, to whom the other parent unwillingly submits. For this reason the divorce or separation of parents, whose marriage is unhappy, may often be of very considerable benefit to the child and is by no means, as is sometimes urged, an unmitigated evil. Apart from these general measures any conduct which needlessly stimulates the jealousy or envy of the child should be avoided. Thus, parents should not unnecessarily and excessively demonstrate their affection for one another in the presence of their children, particularly in such a way as to make the latter appear neglected or left out in the cold. The more directly sexual relationships between the parents are almost inevitably painful or embarrassing to the children; and should not be too openly manifested in their presence or within their hearing[267]. [Sidenote: Sexual enlightenment] On the other hand the maintenance of strict and unnecessary secrecy as regards these relationships, or as regards sexual matters in general, is also very undesirable. The child's curiosity and envy are, by any such procedure, artificially stimulated, and a child will sometimes bear a lasting grudge against the parent who has refused information on this subject or who has resorted to deception. On the contrary, the advantages of perfect frankness and openness on sex matters (especially as regards enquiries made by the child) are often abundantly apparent, and are increasingly recognised by all those who have devoted their attention to the subject[268]. [Sidenote: Parental jealousy]