It was out before she thought: “But how did you get to the Tunisian
sands?”
“I mean I’ve never stayed long enough to look around. Of course, I’ve
passed through.”
He grouched for the rest of the evening, but she felt worse about this
than he did. She had thought she was through nailing him like that.
It had done no good, merely an additional breaking out of her abysmal
temper.... On the night before he left, Rufe was at his best--the
playboy she loved so much; and, of course, she was pressed harder and
harder into the realms of the Arctic Princess, which was by no means
her natural habitat. At last, he had her crying, which was something,
because it hadn’t happened often.
“Going to miss your Rufie,” he whispered, “sorry he’s going away?”
“Oh, it isn’t that!”
“What is it, Pan?” he demanded in the tone of the head of a household.
“Get it off your mind--don’t keep anything from me.”
That started her to laughing. “It’s noth-nothing, Rufe. I’m all right
now,” she said brokenly. “I’m only hurt because I haven’t done it
better----”
“What?”
“Us.”
“Forget it,” he said. “I never hold a grudge.”
XXXI
TWO LETTERS FROM INDIA
LATER in July, Miss Claes received letters from Dicky Cobden and Nagar.
Each, it appeared, had been mainly interested in writing about the
other. She read Dicky’s first:
... I think I’ve seen the Man you wrote of, but I’m more interested
in our own Nagar--altogether different in his native dress. I never
knew how civilized clothes could slow up a man’s looks. If a white
man in New York were as good-looking as Nagar is here, the movie
folk would kidnap him, if necessary, for the screen.... Things look
differently over here. Sitting in this plain house of the one they
call Mahatma-ji, I seem to understand things that would appear absurd
in New York.... Nagar has opened up. He talks freely and laughs. He
is human, and his American years show in fine light. Try to think how
startling all this was to one coming up from Bombay, expecting the
old sphinx of your basement and halls.... I find myself frequently
at the _Ashrama_--a houseful of saints--young men and women devoted
to the Mahatma-ji, like Nagar, and who apparently have taken vows
covering self-sacrifices unlimited. Gandhi is a bit of old brass with
a mustache; terribly battered, only fifty they say, but he shows the
wear of greater years. I seemed to feel that he had been frozen,
that he had been whipped, that he had been burned. Some of his teeth
are gone.... He tells us that you can’t fight back and expect to get
anywhere. He says to answer a hurt with a hurt is to prepare for hurt
again. He says you never can understand your enemy by hating him. He
says that India can only triumph by returning into herself. Imagine
such unearthly affairs from a barrister educated in Middle Temple,
London! And Nagar appears to understand all this.... I haven’t the
organs to believe much. My training hasn’t prepared me easily to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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