The Purchase Price; Or, The Cause of CompromiseHough, Emerson
History
The Purchase Price; Or, The Cause of Compromise
Hough, Emerson
United States -- History -- 1815-1861 -- Fiction
"Oh, I might have told you then. Perhaps it would have been braver
if I had. I tried it a dozen times, but couldn't. I don't pretend
to say whether it was selfishness or cowardice, or just kindness
to--her. If I ever loved her, it was so faint and far away--but it
isn't right to say that, now."
"No. Do not. Do not."
"I don't know. There are a heap of things I don't know. But I
knew I loved you. It was for ever. That was what was meant to be.
It seemed to me I owed debts on every hand--to the world--to you: I
tried--tried to pay--to pay you fair, ache for ache, if I could,
for the hurts I'd given you. And you wouldn't let me. You were
wonderful. Before the throne of God--here--now, I'll say it: I
love you! But now it's over."
"It is easier now," she said again. "You must not give way. You
are strong. You must not be beaten. You must keep your courage."
"Give me a moment," he said. "Give me a chance to get on my feet
again. I want to be game as I can."
"You have courage--the large courage," she answered quietly.
"Haven't you been showing it, by your very silence? You will be
brave. You are just beginning. You have changed many things in
your life of late. You were silent. You did not boast to me.
Sometimes things seem to be changed for us, without our
arrangement."
"Isn't it true?" he exclaimed, turning to her quickly; "isn't it
the truth? Why, look at me. I met you a year ago. Here I sit
now. Two different men, eh? No chance, either time. No chance."
"Maybe two different women," said she.
"No, we are not different," he went on suddenly. "We are something
just the same,--for my part, at least, I have never changed very
much in some ways."
"You have suffered a great deal," she said simply "You have lost
very much. You are no longer a boy. You are a man, now. You've
changed because you are a man. And it wasn't--well, it wasn't done
for--for any reward."
"No, maybe not. In some ways I don't think just the way I used to.
But the savage--the brute--in me is there just the same. I don't
want to do what is right. I don't want to know what is right. I
only want to do what I want to do. What I covet, I covet. What I
love, I love. What I want, I want. That is all. And yet, just a
minute ago you were telling me you would be a friend! Not to a man
like that! It wouldn't be right."
She made no answer. The faces of both were now turned toward the
gray dawn beyond the hills. It was some moments before once more
he turned to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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