"I am afraid that I am a good deal out of touch with the life here,"
Ashe responded seriously. "I have been troubled, and tempted, and--Oh,
Maurice," he broke off suddenly, "Maynard is right: no spiritual calm
is possible in the world outside!"
"Even if that were true," returned Maurice, "I don't know that I am
prepared to agree that calm is the best thing in life."
"It is the highest thing."
"I don't believe it. It isn't growth."
The bell for study sounded, and ended their talk. Maurice went to his
work uneasy, perhaps a little irritated. He was disquieted that Philip
should be so monastically out of sympathy, and he was annoyed with
himself for being out of key with his friend. He felt as if he had
returned to his old place in the body without being here at all in the
spirit. He had while at Mrs. Staggchase's looked into many books which
in the Clergy House would never have come in his way; he had more than
once been startled to encounter thoughts which had been in his own
mind, but which he had felt it wrong to entertain. Here they were
stated coolly, dispassionately, with no consciousness, apparently, that
they should not be considered with frankness. He had heard opinions and
ideas which from the standpoint of the religious ascetic were not only
heretical but little short of blasphemous, yet they were evidently the
ordinary current thought of the time. It was impossible that these
things should not affect him; and to-day as he sat in lecture he found
himself trying all that was said by a new standard and involuntarily
taking the position of an objector. He was able to see nothing but
flaws in the logic, faults in the deduction, breaks in the argument.
"I am come to that state of mind when I should see a seam in the
seamless robe," he groaned in spirit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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