"I think," the other went on, ignoring the interruption, "that it will
be best for you to call on her this afternoon at exercise hour. She is
likely to be at home then, and it will be rather early for other
visitors."
Maurice struggled with himself, endeavoring to shake off the influence
which this man always exercised over him. He determined to speak, and
to decline the hateful errand.
"Father Frontford," he said with an effort, "I cannot undertake this."
"My son," the other responded with gentle severity, "you forget that
this is a silent hour. Although I may speak to you on affairs
concerning the church, that does not give you the right to answer
irrelevantly."
"It is not irrelevantly," Maurice protested, feeling his growing
irritation strengthen his resolve. "I"--
The voice of the old priest was more stern as he interrupted.
"You seem to forget entirely your vow of obedience. There is little
merit," he added, his tone softening persuasively, "in service which is
easy and pleasant. It is in the sacrifice of self and our own
inclinations that we gain the conquest of self. Go, my son, and pray to
be forgiven for pride and insubordination. Do you think that you would
be objecting if it were not for the wound to your vanity which this
work inflicts? You may repeat ten _paters_ for having violated the rule
of silence."
Maurice moved away, feeling that he dared not trust himself to speak
again. To be thus treated like a willful child galled his pride and
quickened all the obstinacy of his nature.
"The rule of silence!" he said to himself angrily as he went. "Are we
in the Middle Ages?"
It came to him as a sort of jeer from an outside intelligence that
after all they were trying to ape mediaeval discipline. He had been for
weeks coming to the point where the whole monastic life seemed to him
fantastic and theatrical; and now that his personal liberty was so
sharply assailed, his self-respect so threatened, he was prepared to
see everything in the most unfavorable light. He laughed bitterly in
his mind at the tangle he was in, and contempt for himself and for the
community took hold of his very soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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