"Will you pardon me," he said; "I do not wish that our last talk should
be bitter. I owe you much, and I shall never cease to respect the
unselfishness with which you have tried to help me. That I cannot
follow your path does not blind me to the fact that you have worked so
untiringly to make the way plain and attractive to me."
He was not without a secret feeling that he was speaking with some
magnanimity, yet he was entirely sincere. He realized with thorough
respect, even at the moment of breaking away, how complete was the
devotion of the Father. There was in his mind, too, some satisfaction
at the tone he had unconsciously adopted. It flattered him to find that
he should be almost patronizing his Superior.
Father Frontford regarded Maurice with a look in which were mingled
surprise, disapprobation, and regret. As the two sat holding each
other's eyes, the face of the older man changed and softened. Into it
came a smile of high and spiritual beauty, of nobility and
unworldliness, of tenderness most touching. All that was most winning
in the character of the man was embodied in the look which he fixed
upon his recreant disciple, a look pleading and wistful, yet full of
dignity and strength. He leaned forward, laying the tips of his thin
fingers almost caressingly on the arm of the other.
"My son," he said, "it is not what I have done that you remember; it is
what I represent. The truth and sweetness of religion is what has
touched you. I am only the representative; and no one knows better how
unworthy I am to be so looked on. If the grace of divine love seems to
you good shining through me, think what it is in itself. Oh, my son,"
he went on, the tears coming into his eyes, "I have loved you, and I
love you more now that I see you tempted and bewildered. Turn back to
the bosom of the church before it is too late."
Maurice sat silent with look downcast. His firmness was not shaken; he
had no inclination to reconsider his decision, but he was deeply moved
by the emotion of the other. He could not bear to meet pleading so
affectionate with a cold negative.
"It is for yourself that I appeal to you," the priest went on. "It is
for the good of your own soul, and for your happiness in this world and
the world to come. Think of your mission. Think how men need you; of
the sin and the error that cry out to Heaven, and of how few there are
to do the Lord's work. You have been confused by the temptations of the
world, and in all of us there is a selfish spirit that may lead us to
do in a moment of madness what we shall repent with tears of blood all
our lives."
Still Maurice could not answer; and the Father, bending still nearer,
taking one of the young man's hands in both his own, still pleaded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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