Imperfectly as he was able to phrase it, Maurice was not in the end
without some reasonably clear conception of the fact that in his life
Philip had represented the feminine element. It was by love for his
friend that he had been led on. Now that his reason was fully awake
this emotional yielding to the thought of another was no longer
possible; now that his heart was filled with a passion for Berenice his
nature no longer responded to the appeal of the feminine in Ashe.
Maurice was half aware that his was a character sure to be influenced
greatly by affection; but he felt that it would never again be possible
for him so to give up to another the guidance of his life as he now saw
that he had yielded it to his friend. He had learned his weakness, and
the lesson had been enforced too sharply ever to be forgotten.
He was coming now into the region of his old home. The forests were
beginning faintly to show the approach of spring; the treetops were
dimly warming in color, the branches thickening against the sky. Here
and there Maurice looked down on a brook black with the late rains and
with the floods from the snow-drifts still melting on the distant
hills. Now he caught a far flash of the river where he had skated in
winters almost forgotten, so fast does time move, where he had fished
and bathed in summers so long gone that they seemed to belong to the
life of some other. Yet once more and a distant hill, duskily blue
against the bluer heavens, wakened for him some memory of his boyhood,
seeming to challenge him to renew the old joys and to revel in the
by-gone fervors.
All these things softened the mood in which Maurice came back to the
old town, and as he walked up the village street, so well remembered
yet so strange, he had a sense of unreality. The very homely
familiarity of it all made it appear the more like a dream. He felt his
heart-beats quicken as he approached the Ashe place, wondering if he
should see Mrs. Ashe. He had always, with all his affection, felt for
Philip's mother a sort of awe, as if she were more than a simple human
creature. He found it difficult to understand that Mrs. Singleton
should be staying with her, so incongruous was the association in his
mind of two such women. With Mrs. Ashe, Alice must at least be at her
best.
He walked up to the house, passing under the leafless lilac bushes with
a keen remembrance of how they were laden with odors in June. He
wondered if the tansy still grew under the sitting-room window, and if
the lilies-of-the-valley flourished on the north side of the house as
of old. Then he knocked with the quaint old black knocker, and with the
sound came back the present and the thought that he had before him an
interview which might be neither pleasant nor easy.
Mrs. Singleton herself opened the door.
"I saw you coming," she greeted him, "and there is nobody at home but
me."
Maurice tried not to look disappointed.
"Then Mrs. Ashe is not at home?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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