"No; not that; but it must be of unspeakable comfort in times of mental
doubt to repose on unquestioned and unquestionable authority."
Helen rose from her place by the fire and walked to the window. She
felt that she was on very delicate ground, and she would gladly have
escaped from the discussion could she have done so without the feeling
of having evaded. She stood a moment looking out into the darkening
street, dusky in the growing January twilight, bleak and dreary. Then
with a sudden movement she went to her husband's desk and took up a
picture of her boy, a beautiful, manly little fellow of three years, of
whom Philip was especially fond. Crossing to her cousin, she put the
picture in his hand, at the same time turning up the electric light
behind him.
"See," she said, with feminine adroitness. "I don't think I've shown
you this picture of Greyson."
He looked at it earnestly, and sighed.
"It is beautiful," said he. "Greyson is a son to be proud of and to
love."
"Well?" she asked significantly.
"What do you mean?" returned he. "What has Greyson's picture to do with
what we were talking about?"
She took the photograph from his hand, extinguished the light, and
walked back toward the desk. The room seemed darker than before now
that the firelight only was left. Suddenly she turned, with an outburst
almost passionate:--
"O Philip!" she exclaimed. "Can't you see? My son! Surely if there is
anything in this world that is holy, that is entirely pure and noble,
it is parentage. Do you suppose that all the churches in the world,
with authority or without it, could make Grant and me feel that there
is anything higher for us than to take our little son in our arms and
thank God for him!"
He did not answer, and she controlled her emotion, smiling at her own
extravagance, while she wiped away a tear. She kissed the picture, and
put it in its place; then she returned to her chair by the fire.
"I don't expect you to understand my feeling," she said. "You never can
until you have a son of your own. If a little cherub like Grey puts his
baby hands into your eyes and pulls your hair, you'll suddenly discover
that a good many of your old theories have evaporated."
"But, Cousin Helen," he began hesitatingly, "certainly there is often
sin"--
She interrupted him indignantly.
"There is no sin in faithful, loving, self-respecting marriage," she
insisted. "That is what I am talking about. It is the holiest thing on
earth. Anything may be degraded. I've even heard of a burlesque of the
sacrament. I don't see why I shouldn't speak frankly, Philip. You are
in a state of mind that is morbid and self-tormenting. If you love a
woman, tell her so honestly and clearly; and if she is a good woman and
can love you, go down on your knees, and thank God."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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