She stood by the window with the telegram in her hands, twisting it to
and fro, wondering what it was possible for her to do. She thought of
excusing herself from her visitor when he should come, but the evasion
seemed to her unworthy, and she was eager to free herself from even the
suspicion of belonging to him. She felt that she could not breathe
freely until she were clear of the faintest shadow of any claim, even
in Stanford's secret thought. She must belong once more to herself.
It was at this point in her musings that Wynne came into the library.
He was pale and sunken-eyed, and the tinge of his sprouting beard gave
to his face a certain virility which startled her. It imparted a trace
of something perhaps remotely animal and brutal, subtly altering his
whole expression. He became in appearance at once more vigorous and
more human. For the first time Berenice saw a suggestion of the
possibility that this man might be a master; and the strength in man
that makes a woman tremble also makes her thrill. Some inward voice
cried in her ear: "Here is the reason why Parker Stanford is
repugnant!" But she denied the accusation indignantly in her mind,
putting the thought by, and refusing to see in Wynne anything more than
the man to whom she had cause to be grateful. Yet in that part of her
mind where a woman keeps so many things which she declines to confess
to herself that she knows, Berenice from that moment kept the fact that
this man before her had touched her heart.
She made a strong effort to greet Wynne frankly, and to conceal from
him the feeling which his coming excited. She would have died rather
than show him how glad she was that he had come. She saw the eagerness
of his glance when he entered, and she felt the warmth of his greeting.
She noted the change in his manner, and fancied it arose from his fear
lest he betray himself. She set herself to overcome his reserve; and
when she had succeeded she sprang up with a gay laugh, light-hearted
and full of a delicious, incomprehensible pleasure. She wanted to break
out into singing, so sweet is the delight of new love unrecognized save
as simple joy in living.
The entrance of Mehitabel with the card of Mr. Stanford brought her
back to earth.
"Already?" she said, feeling as if she were defrauded that thus her
moment of enjoyment was cut short.
She could not trust herself for more than a word of excuse to Wynne,
but hurried to her chamber to collect her thoughts and to examine her
toilet before she descended to her visitor. Some inward personality
seemed to be trying properly to frame the speech by which she should
make Stanford understand that it was idle for him to hope longer; while
all the time she was thinking of the man whom she had just left.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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