"Thank you, no," said Suzette. "I must go back to her. Good-by."
"Good-by!" said Mrs. Morrell.
Matt raised his hat and silently bowed; but as they turned away, he said
to Suzette, "What a happy face! What a lovely face! What a _good_ face!"
"She is a very good woman," said the girl. "She has been very kind to
us. But so has everybody. I couldn't have believed it." In fact, it was
only the kindness of their neighbors that had come near the defaulter's
daughters; the harshness and the hate had kept away.
"Why shouldn't they be kind?" Matt demanded, with his heart instantly in
his throat. "I can't imagine--at such a time--Don't you know that I love
you?" he entreated, as if that exactly followed; there was, perhaps, a
subtle spiritual sequence, transcending all order of logic in the
expression of his passion.
She looked at him over her shoulder as he walked by her side, and said,
with neither surprise nor joy, "How can you say such a thing to me?"
"Because it is true! Because I can't help it! Because I wish to be
everything to you, and I have to begin by saying that. But don't answer
me now; you need never answer me. I only wish you to use me as you would
use some one who loved you beyond anything on earth,--as freely as that,
and yet not be bound or hampered by me in the least. Can you do that? I
mean, can you feel, 'This is my best friend, the truest friend that any
one can have, and I will let him do anything and everything he wishes
for me.' Can you do that,--say that?"
"But how could I do that? I don't understand you!" she said, faintly.
"Don't you? I am so glad you don't drive me from you--"
"I? _You!_"
"I was afraid--But now we can speak reasonably about it; I don't see why
people shouldn't. I know it's shocking to speak to you of such a thing
at such a time. It's dreadful; and yet I can't feel wrong to have done
it! No! If it's as sacred as it seems to me when I think of it, then it
couldn't be wrong in the presence of death itself. I do love you; and I
want you some day for my wife. Yes! But don't answer that now! If you
never answer me, or if you deny me at last, still I want you to let me
be your true lover, while I can, and to do everything that your accepted
lover could, whether you ever look at me again or not. Couldn't you do
that?"
"You know I couldn't," she answered, simply.
"Couldn't you?" he asked, and he fell into a forlorn silence, as if he
could not say anything more. He forced her to take the word by asking,
"Then you are offended with me?"
"How could I be?"
"Oh--"
"It's what any girl might be glad of--"
"Oh, my--"
"And I am not so silly as to think there can be a wrong time for it. If
there were, you would make it right, if you chose it. You couldn't do
anything I should think wrong. And I--I--love you, too--"
"Suzette! Suzette!" he called wildly, as if she were a great way off. It
seemed to him his heart would burst. He got awkwardly before her, and
tried to seize her hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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