Bildungsromans; Christian women saints -- Fiction; Egypt -- Fiction; Mary, of Egypt, Saint -- Fiction; Picaresque fiction
“As to myself, my dear boy, having reached my room, tired as I was, I
did not want to go to rest before I had looked up in my Boethius one or
two sentences appropriate to my state of mind. I could not find the very
one fit for it. It must not be forgotten that this great thinker had not
had occasion to meditate on the disgrace of having broken the head of
a Farmer-general with a bottle out of his own cellar. But I was able
to pick up here and there, in his admirable treatise, some maxims
applicable to present conjunctures. Having done so, I drew the night-cap
over my eyes, recommended my soul to God, and quietly went to sleep.
After what seemed to me, without being able to measure it, a very short
space of time--be mindful, my son, that our actions are the only measure
for time, which, if I may say so, is suspended for us by sleep--I felt
my arm pulled, and heard a voice shouting in my ear: ‘Eh! Abbé! Eh!
Abbé, wake up!’ Half dozing as I was, I believed it was a constable
wanting to conduct me to the officer, and I deliberated with myself the
easiest way in which I could break his head, and rapidly came to the
conclusion that the candlestick would be the handiest weapon. It is
unhappily, too true, my dear boy, that having once stepped aside from
the road of kindness and equity, where the wise man walks with a firm
and prudent step, one becomes compelled to sustain violence by violence
and cruelty by cruelty, thereby proving that a first fault leads
invariably to other faults--evil always follows evil done. One has to be
reminded of this if one wants to fully understand the lives of the Roman
emperors, of whom M. Crevier has given such an exact account. Those
princes were not born more evilly disposed than other men. Caius,
surnamed Caligula, was wanting neither in natural spirit nor in
judgment, and was quite capable of friendship. Nero had an inborn liking
for virtue, and his temperament disposed him towards all that is grand
and sublime. Both of them were led by a first fault on the nefarious,
villainous road whereon they walked to their miserable end. Their
history is cleverly treated in M. Crevier’s book. I knew that remarkable
writer when he was a teacher of literature and history at the College of
Beauvais, as I might be teaching to-day, had my life not been crossed by
a thousand impediments, and if the natural easiness of my spirit had not
drawn me into the manifold snares laid in my way. M. Crevier, my boy,
led a pure life; his morals were severe, and I have myself heard him say
that a woman who had broken her conjugal vows was capable of the crimes
of murder and incendiarism. I repeat this saying of his, to impress you
with the saintly austerity of that model priest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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