"Yes, he can!" said a deep voice, and the gentleman in question marched up the room--blackened, with his hair scorched from the side of his head, and one arm in a sling formed of a lady's silk scarf. "I'm horribly bad! For goodness' sake, give me a drink!" Almost as he uttered the words, Jerry handed him a frothing glass of brandy and soda, which he had hurried out to prepare as soon as he saw his master's exhausted state. "Hah!" ejaculated Lacey, as he set down the glass and then sank into an easy-chair. "Your arm bad?" said the colonel, anxiously. Then to the doctor--"Will you see to him?" "Yes, of course," said that gentleman, who was on the alert directly. "Come with me to your room, Lacey, my boy, and let's have a look at you." "Not if I know it!" said the young officer, with an energy that startled his hearers. "I'll prescribe for myself--Rest! Here, who's got a good cigar?" Half a dozen were outstretched directly. "I said _a_ cigar!" growled Lacey. "I haven't got six mouths! Hi, Brigley, a light!" But Jerry had left the room, and matches were offered by the nearest neighbour. "That fellow's always out of the way when I want him!" snarled Lacey, savagely, as he struck a match, which went off with a loud crack, and lit his cigar, at which he began to puff furiously. "Your injuries are paining you, my dear Lacey." "So would yours, if you had them!" cried the young man with a snap; and the colonel smiled. "I don't see where the fun comes in, sir!" growled Lacey, angrily. "I beg your pardon, my dear fellow," cried his chief. "I really sympathise with you, though." "Try another way, sir," said Lacey, looking round with his eyes rolling, and then he sat, smoked, and sipped in silence. "See your ladies home safely?" said the colonel at last. "Oh, yes, sir; I saw them home safely," cried the lieutenant, snatching his cigar from his lips and dashing it into the empty grate. "Colonel, did you ever have an old woman in hysterics on your hands?" "Well, I have had ladies in hysterics on my hands." "But not for an hour and a half! Oh, it was awful, and all the time someone else so ill she could hardly stir. By George, what a scene! I don't care. You fellows sneer at me, and say I don't know anything about women: but I do. Old maids who have hysterics are the most selfish wretches that ever breathed. I couldn't get away." "Of course not," said one of the officers. "That's your fault." "My fault! Why?" "Being so good-looking!" "Good-looking! Ha! ha! ha! Look at me!" cried Lacey, leaping up and surveying his scorched face, and then his blackened uniform and general aspect of having been badly in the wars. "Yes, I look handsome, don't I? I say, though, I thought it was all over with me. I couldn't get free. Who helped me out?" "That plucky little bandsman!" "Not Smithson?" cried the lieutenant. "Yes, Smithson," said the colonel. "God bless him!" cried the lieutenant in a low voice full of emotion.