"And there he sat, with the wrinkles going out of his forrid, and a sort o' baby-like smile coming all over his face. "`Find it fresh'ning, sir?' I says. "`Heavenly,' he says. "`You want a good shampoo, sir,' I says. `There's a deal o' dandruff in your head.' "`That's what the hairdresser said,' says he, an' he sighs again. "`Oh, yes; I know,' says I; `they allus do, and wants you to buy bottles o' their tintry-cum-fuldicus. You leave it to me, sir. Little white o' egg and borax, and a finish off with some good scented soap; and then if anyone sees some o' that stuff in your head, sir, just you tell me.' "He's a very nice gent, sir--I mean Dick; but the way he's been neglected and preyed on by barbers and sich is shameful. Why, he's got stuff enough in his quarters to stock a shop." "Then you think you'll get on with him, Jerry?" "Think? Not me! You ask him if he'll let me go, and you'll see. I sent him out this morning pretty tidy to parade, quite early--and don't he like you to dress him--and when he come back, looking done-up, I was ready for him with a pick-me-up. You see there's a lot of him, and he want nootriment." "`What's this?' he says. "`Your lotion, sir,' I says, and he tasted it, and tasted it again, sipping, then mouthfulling, and sets the glass down, with a sigh. "`What is it, Brigley?' he says. "`Noo-lade egg, sir, noo milk, lump o' sugar, and half a glass o' sherry, well lathered up with a swizzle-stick.' "`Hah!' he says, `is there any more?' "`No, sir,' I says; `not this morning. Now then, sir,' I says; `if you please?' And then I takes off his belts and his regimentals, gets him on the couch, and I rubs him and cracks him." "You did what?" cried Dick. "Massages him, sir; and him a-staring at me all the time. After that I shampoos and washes him, trims the pyntes off his hair, waxes his starshers, gives him a cigarette, and then I rejoices his heart." "How?" said Dick, laughing. "By telling on him the truth, sir." "What truth?" "I stood back and looked at him, and I says to him: `There, sir; don't you feel like a new man?' "Ah, yes! he says, with one o' those big mellingcholly sighs of his'n, which makes me think he's got something on his mind. "`And now, sir,' I says, `you look puffect.' "`Oh, nonsense, man!' he says, sharply. "`Begging your pardon, sir!' I says, `you do!' and he says, sadly-- "`Well, Brigley, have it your own way; 'tis no fault of mine.' "I see then as I oughtn't to say no more, for fear of his thinking I flattered him. But, really, he is as handsome and big a chap as ever I did see." "Yes, he is good-looking, Jerry; but if you talk much like that you'll disgust him." "An' I shan't talk to him like that again, Dick Smithson; and I shouldn't, then, only it was the honest truth. It's a pleasure to do up a gent like that! Why, I could win a prize with him at a show! But he is a soft one, really!--milk's nothing to him!"