The Quest of the Golden Girl: A RomanceLe Gallienne, Richard
General
The Quest of the Golden Girl: A Romance
Le Gallienne, Richard
Love stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Yes, the girl in the gig was her sister, and they were the only
daughters of a farmer who had been rich once, but had come to ruin by
drink and misfortune. They had been brought up from girls by an old
grandmother, with whom the sister was living at the time of my seeing
them. Yes, Tom was her husband. He was a doctor in the neighbourhood
when he married her, and a man, I surmised, of some parts and promise,
but, moving to town, he had fallen into loose ways, taken to drinking
and gambling, and had finally deserted her for another woman--at the
very moment when their first child was born. The child died "Thank
God!" she added with sudden vehemence, and "I--well, you will wonder
how I came to this, I wonder myself--it has all happened but six months
ago, and yet I seem to have forgotten--only the broken-hearted and the
hungry would understand, if I could remember--and yet it was not life,
certainly not life I wanted--and yet I couldn't die--"
The more I came to know Elizabeth and realise the rare delicacy of her
nature, the simplicity of her mind, and the purity of her soul, the
less was I able to comprehend the psychology of that false step which
her great misery had forced her to take. For hers was not a sensual,
pleasure-loving nature. In fact, there was a certain curious
Puritanism about her, a Puritanism which found a startlingly
incongruous and almost laughable expression in the Scripture almanac
which hung on the wall at the end of her bed, and the Bible, and two or
three Sunday-school stories which, with a copy of "Jane Eyre," were the
only books that lay upon the circular mahogany table.
Once I ventured gently to chaff her about this religiosity of hers.
"But surely you believe in God, dear," she had answered, "you're not an
atheist!"
I think an atheist, with all her experience of human monsters, was for
her the depth of human depravity.
"No, dear," I had answered; "if you can believe in God, surely I can!"
I repeat that this gap in Elizabeth's psychology puzzled me, and it
puzzles me still, but it puzzled me only as the method of working out
some problem which after all had "come out right" might puzzle one. It
was only the process that was obscure. The result was gold, whatever
the dark process might be. Was it simply that Elizabeth was one of
that rare few who can touch pitch and not be defiled?--or was it, I
have sometimes wondered, an unconscious and after all a sound casuistry
that had saved Elizabeth's soul, an instinctive philosophy that taught
her, so to say, to lay a Sigurd's sword between her soul and body, and
to argue that nothing can defile the body without the consent of the
soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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