"How can that which is evil avail for ever? The melancholy seem to be the chosen ones. The burden they bear is a precious one, but only if they realize that it is of the Father. Then it sanctifies; otherwise it crushes. Some learn this first through death, as did Heléne." "Markus," said Marjon then, "we both have had such wicked things in our heads. Shall we ever be forgiven them?" "Tell me about them," said Markus. "I know indeed, but yet tell me." "We have wanted to murder, out of jealousy--he and ... and I." "That is the way with stags and buffaloes and cocks," said Markus. "They kill one another on account of their love. The strongest survives, and feels not the least remorse. And he is forgiven." "But we are human, Markus," said Johannes. "That is fine, dear Johannes, that you should say it of yourself. And yet you have not murdered anybody, have you?" "No, but I have wanted to." "Truly and with all your heart?" "Not that way," said Johannes. "No, for in that case you would not now be asking forgiveness. Forgiveness is already there, because insight is forgiveness." The two disciples were silent, and looked at him thoughtfully through half-closed eyes. At last Marjon said: "But then if we had done it we would have been forgiven all the sooner; for then we should have perceived the sooner that it was wrong." "You would then have experienced the desire for, and the satisfaction in, the deed, and have lost the fear of it. That would have been two more fetters for you, with the power to understand reduced." "But yet there are things which we have to do in order to know that they are wicked," said Johannes. "Are there such things?" asked Markus. "Well, then, do them; but do not complain if the lesson is a hard one. There are children, also, who do not believe their parents when they tell them that fire will burn, and that burns are painful. And yet such children cry if they burn themselves." "But why is it so intolerable to think that another will obtain that which we hold dear? Is that wicked?" asked Marjon. "It is not wicked to long for love or power or honor, when those things are our due because of our being wise and good. But that which he covets comes not to the jealous one, nor power to him who thirsts for it, nor honor to the over-ambitious. The things longed for will not satisfy them. Nor are eating and drinking bad in themselves, but they are only for those who have need of them." At that moment the door was unlocked. As it swung open the nurse said that the time was up, adding: "Perhaps you may come again to-morrow." "Will he have to stay here?" asked Marjon, as they were on their way down the long hall.