"She's spared yet, so far as I know," said the father, with a backward
nod to indicate the antecedent of the pronoun. Following which, he said
what lay uppermost in his mind. "I been allowin' maybe you'd come back
this time with your head sot on lettin' that gal alone, son."
Thomas Jefferson was on his feet and a hot anger wave was sweeping him
back over the years to other times when things used to turn red under
the rage blast. But he got some sort of grip on himself before the words
came.
"You've believed all you've heard, have you?--condemned me before I
could say a word in my own defense? That's what they've all done."
"I don't say that, son." Then, with a note of fatherly yearning in his
voice: "I'm waitin' to hear that word right now, Buddy--or as much of it
as ye can say honestly."
"You'll never hear it from me--never in this world or another. Now tell
me who told you!"
"Why, it's in mighty near ever'body's mouth, son!" said Caleb, in mild
surprise. "You certain'y didn't take any pains to cover it up."
"Didn't take any pains? Why, in the name of God, should I?" Tom burst
out. After which he tramped heavily to the farther end of the veranda,
refilled and lighted his pipe, and smoked furiously for a time, glooming
over at the darkened windows of Deer Trace and letting bitter anger and
disappointment work their will on him. And when he finally turned and
tramped back it was only to say an abrupt "Good night," and to pass into
the house and up to his room.
He thought he was alone in the moon-lighted dusk of the upper chamber
when he closed the door and began to pace a rageful sentry-beat back and
forth between the windows. But all unknown to him one of the three fell
sisters, she of the implacable front and deep-set, burning eyes, had
entered with him to pace evenly as he paced, and to lay a maddening
finger on his soul.
Without vowing a vow and confirming it with an oath, he had partly
turned a new life-leaf on the night of heavenly comfort when Ardea had
sent him forth to tramp the pike with her kiss of sisterly love still
caressing him. Beyond the needs of the moment, the recall of Norman and
the determination to turn his back on the world struggle for the time
being, he had not gone in that first fervor of the uplifting impulse.
But later on there had been other steps: a growing hunger for success
with self-respect kept whole; a dulling of the sharp edge of his hatred
for the Farleys; a meliorating of his fierce contempt for all the
hypocrites, conscious and subconscious.
With the changing point of view had come a corresponding change in the
life. The men of his class had marked it, and there were helping hands
held out, as there always are when one struggles toward the forward
margin of any Slough of Despond. He had even gone to church at long
intervals, having there the good hap to fall under the influence of a
man whose faults were neither of ignorance nor of insincerity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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